BHAVNEET: Welcome to Oh no. I mean, this is not Oh, no. This is Oh, yes. I’m on the right place.
TARANJIT: What a great start.
BHAVNEET: Welcome back to Drive With Us. That’s what I meant to say.
TARANJIT: Oh, no.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes. I clicked the right thing. I’m Bhavneet.
TARANJIT: and I’m Taranjit.
BHAVNEET: And that is how you start a podcast episode.
TARANJIT: We’ve been doing this for how long now?
BHAVNEET: Yeah. That is how you start it correctly. So we’ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
TARANJIT: Oh, yes. I mean, oh, no.
BHAVNEET: See, see. Got you on the right boat. Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: Oh
BHAVNEET: Oh, yeah… Like this deep, like, movie, trailer suspense things, those voices? Who talks that deep or do they make them sound deeper?
TARANJIT: Obviously, it’s a sound effect.
BHAVNEET: Where they’re like, “In a world…” Like that. Like our promo.
TARANJIT: Like are like your voice sound like a man.
BHAVNEET: That was not me. Wink, wink.
TARANJIT: Like they can see that wink in the mic.
BHAVNEET: I winked into the microphone, but I gave you guys the sound effect so that you could know what I was doing. Wink, wink.
TARANJIT: I love your head motion.
BHAVNEET: Does somebody actually sound that deep? Or do they make their voice sound deeper?
TARANJIT: Make it.
BHAVNEET: So nobody actually goes up to the mic and they’re like, welcome to…
TARANJIT: No.
BHAVNEET: Our bedroom. But it’s not ours. It’s hers. Mine’s across the hall, like that.
TARANJIT: Welcome to
BHAVNEET: Seriously. Nobody just goes up to the mic and just talks like that. They actually they just make their voice deeper.
TARANJIT: How am I supposed to know? I’m just guessing.
BHAVNEET: I want to know how they do that. Because I did not do that.
TARANJIT: I’m pretty sure they have sound effects. There’s no way that everyone does that.
BHAVNEET: Well, I just made my voice sound there deeper and just recorded it like that. Wink. Wink.
TARANJIT: Head slam.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. So what we talking about?
TARANJIT: We weren’t talking about anything.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, we were.
TARANJIT: We were?
BHAVNEET: So what were we doing the past 20 minutes?
TARANJIT: Talking about how we were intro-ing wrong.
BHAVNEET: No. Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: Oh, no. Yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, no. Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: Yes.
BHAVNEET: Yes.
TARANJIT: Uh huh.
BHAVNEET: Correct.
TARANJIT: Yes. There’s many ways to say that.
BHAVNEET: Si. Hanji. Na ji. Thale lao, mitte pao.
TARANJIT: What is wrong with you? We have more light in this room now.
BHAVNEET: That we do.
TARANJIT: The mattress is gone.
BHAVNEET: That was not fun. I don’t want to think about that anymore.
TARANJIT: My leg. No, my knee. My knee. I twisted my knee.
BHAVNEET: Like that?
TARANJIT: It hurt really bad.
BHAVNEET: Are you sure?
TARANJIT: Yeah.
BHAVNEET: It didn’t sound like it. It hurt really bad. You know, that thing that happened.
TARANJIT: Well, the pain’s gone now. So I can’t… I don’t feel it as much.
3:45
Well, I literally had to like, lift it on my shoulder because it got wedged when we were trying to bring it down the stairs because our stairs curve 90 degrees. And it got stuck. Again.
TARANJIT: First of all, is a double mattress. It’s not even like light. Like a single. A regular mattress. This mattress. Thick. It was thick for the mattress part. Then it had like a foam cushion-y part that was like an extra layer. So heavy.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. So why did you get rid of it?
TARANJIT: Because it was old.
BHAVNEET: So it reminded me of the Princess and the Pea. That’s how tall it was. Because like when we were trying to get it out of your room at first, we had to push it across your new mattress, and it made your bed so tall. That it reminded me of that. Like if you laid on it, would you be able to feel a pea under the mattress?
TARANJIT: Probably not. But I could feel the fan on my face.
BHAVNEET: Well, I mean, gotta get that circulation of air.
TARANJIT: I literally, if I lay down on it, I could probably touch it with my nose.
BHAVNEET: Now that is how you get proper ventilation when your nose is clogged at night. You don’t need Vicks. Put your face up against the fan. Get ventilation.
TARANJIT: But there’s so much dust up there that it would probably be worse.
BHAVNEET: Well, maybe you need to clean your ventilator.
TARANJIT: Or just stay away from it and not get up close.
BHAVNEET: So what are you going to do when it gets hot and you want to turn your fan on? No ventilation?
TARANJIT: I don’t use the ceiling fan. I use the other fan. The stand one.
BHAVNEET: Stick fan. Well you made like a stick motion Yes. I just hic…uh, burped.
TARANJIT: Hic-burp.
BHAVNEET: Hic-boom-aah. Why are we Dora the Explorer-ing. I like how I always say Dora the Explora because you know it rhymes. Who says Dora the Explorer. That doesn’t sound right.
TARANJIT: I’ve always said Explorer.
BHAVNEET: Me too. So who actually says Dora the Explorer? Because…
TARANJIT: The show.
BHAVNEET: That’s just weird. No. You got to make it rhyme. Dora the Explora. She’s fancy. Gangster.
TARANJIT: Or Dorer the Explorer.
BHAVNEET: What? No.
TARANJIT: Change her name?
BHAVNEET: No, she’s gangsta. She’s Dora the Explora.
TARANJIT: Dorer the Explorer.
BHAVNEET: Sounds like Sephora. The Explora in Sephora. That’s why she actually is Dorer. But after going to Sephora, she became Dora. So you don’t really know.
TARANJIT: Wow…and when she washes all that makeup off she becomes Dorer.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, she’s back to Dora the Explora. Gangster.
TARANJIT: Explorer.
BHAVNEET: gangster. Hic-boom-aah. The End. Good night. Have a nice night sleep. Don’t forget to ventilate with the fan pushed up against your face. Because apparently that’s how you do it. You don’t need Vicks anymore. Here’s my anti plug.
TARANJIT: Man, you’re back to plugs.
BHAVNEET: Just kidding. Vicks is very nice.
TARANJIT: Is this your, what did you say? PSA?
BHAVNEET: Promotional service announcement or something like that?
TARANJIT: It’s your promotional service announcement? Don’t use Vicks.
BHAVNEET: No, but Vicks is good. It actually feels really good. If you can’t breathe. Not like any kind of can’t breeze but like nose stuff. There’s boogies up there. Boogies and who knows what else up there. And it won’t come out. So it helps to be like, slice through it all. Get out! Part. Part. Air coming through. Like, then they had those little things that the airplane like the people who direct the airplanes. Those little…
TARANJIT: Light saber things?
BHAVNEET: Yeah, lightsaber things. They have those. And then they’re just like go air go.
TARANJIT: Have you seen that one guy?
BHAVNEET: Who was dancing! Yeah.
TARANJIT: You took my word before I had a chance to say it.
BHAVNEET: You showed me that! He was dancing. Now that is how you enjoy your job. Go this way. Now if the plane actually followed his motions. That would not be good.
TARANJIT: It would be like the Boeing 737.
BHAVNEET: Oh, my God. Don’t say that.
We’re still on the ground at this point. Oh, speaking of I’m so glad that they grounded all of them. Because I was worried for a long time that we were going to end up on one of those planes. Because wasn’t it American that had so many of those planes. And the US wasn’t grounding any
of them. And we were taken on American flight. And I was like, Oh my god, they have so many what are the chances that we’re going to get on one of those?
TARANJIT: But I don’t think our flight was a Boeing was it? The number we had? Was it?
BHAVNEET: The 737. I don’t think it was a 737. Max. It had to be the Max too.
TARANJIT: So I think we’re good.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, but they grounded all of them. So I mean, either way, no one’s going to be in it.
TARANJIT: And it’s a a short flight. So it’s our long one…
BHAVNEET: But it doesn’t matter how long or short it was if there was a faulty plane.
TARANJIT: I know.
BHAVNEET: Like you would never would have made it off the ground.
TARANJIT: Yeah, that’d be bad.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Like a bird trying to first fly. And then it just goes….
TARANJIT: What was that book with the bird? The one…
BHAVNEET: Are my mother.
TARANJIT: Are you my mother.
BHAVNEET: So the plane’s like, are you my mother? No…. are you my mother? No…Okay, back down.
TARANJIT: That’s so bad.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, that is so bad. That was really scary. Like, now they’re in some serious hoodoo.
TARANJIT: The hoodoos. Remember those? Isn’t that a thing.
BHAVNEET: Yes, it’s a name for those things in… is it Bryce Canyon National Park?
TARANJIT: Sure.
BHAVNEET: Hoodoo one… hoodoo two. Yeah that thing. Recap to Episode Four. I Speak for the Trees and National Parks.
TARANJIT: Hoodoos.
BHAVNEET: If any of you got those…got that reference. I speak for the trees. Thank you. Very good movie. I don’t think she got it. She’s staring at me weird. But I got it. So, if you got it. That makes two of us. You can substitute yourself for her.
TARANJIT: How do you know if just one listener got it?
BHAVNEET: Well, am I talking to one person at a time? I don’t know. I mean, is this a listening party? Oh, that’s really cool.
TARANJIT: What if someone was on a road trip with a group of friends and they’re jamming out to our podcast.
BHAVNEET: Oh, well, if you’re jamming out, I’d like to know what kind of music you’re hearing in our podcast because I don’t hear anything. And that’s really weird if I can’t hear it, and you can.
TARANJIT: But they’re the one listening. We’re not.
BHAVNEET: But you said they’re jamming out.
TARANJIT: Yeah.
BHAVNEET: So how do you jam… is my voice just that musical? There you go. That was a taste of not my voice. That was her voice.
TARANJIT: What?
BHAVNEET: I got some phlegm. Some phlegm. Phlegm
TARANJIT: Get the phlegm out.
BHAVNEET: Okay.
TARANJIT: Sounds as if I was replacing a word with phlegm. Get the phlegm out.
BHAVNEET: Ooohhhhh. That’s not nice. Okay, I’m taking my mic with me. And you.
TARANJIT: What?
BHAVNEET: So good luck. Now only I have a mic. But the computer and your mic is still here. So good luck. Continue this podcast.
TARANJIT: Yes, I can.
BHAVNEET: Well, you’re with me now.
TARANJIT: What? No I’m not.
BHAVNEET: I said I was taking you with me and my mic. That’s it.
TARANJIT: Good luck.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. That’s what I said.
TARANJIT: No, good luck to you.
BHAVNEET: I don’t need it. You’re with me. So…
TARANJIT: You won’t be able to take me.
BHAVNEET: What? Are you glued?
TARANJIT: Yep.
BHAVNEET: No your not.
TARANJIT: That was my knee.
BHAVNEET: My knee. So what were we talking about?
TARANJIT: Where are we going to talk about or what were we talking about?
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: That didn’t answer my question.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes. Continue.
TARANJIT: Yes. To the first question?
BHAVNEET: Yes to suing. No. Oh, no. Oh, yes. So speaking of suing, I was watching My Cousin Vinny because I had to for a class, a like, expert witness law type class. And I’ve never seen this movie before. But it’s about, it has Joe Pesci in it. And I didn’t know who that was. I just remember him from Full House where Joey was like, this potato looks like Joe Pesci. MY Joe Pesci potato.
TARANJIT: What movie…
BHAVNEET: Wasn’t it Joe Pesci that he was like, it looks like Joe Pesci?
TARANJIT: Was there a movie that said like soap bar looked like him, too?
BHAVNEET:
I think so. But wasn’t… didn’t he say that it was a potato. He’s like, this looks like…
TARANJIT: I think so.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. So that’s all I remember. And then so it’s about him. He’s a lawyer who apparently really sucks and then he has to do his first criminal case for his cousin. And as far as I got it was that he just came to Alabama, so don’t ruin it for me. Thank you.
TARANJIT: Like you can hear them.
BHAVNEET: And I won’t ruin it for you because I haven’t seen it. So. Mutual don’t ruining.
TARANJIT: If you did, you would ruin it?
BHAVNEET: No.
TARANJIT: Oh my gosh, there’s a spoiler person over here.
BHAVNEET: Spoiler person? Wow, what a great insult. I have an even better come back. Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: You just agreed you’re a spoiler person.
BHAVNEET: Oh, no.
TARANJIT: Yes, you can. You spoil.
BHAVNEET: I can what? I can drive a van.
TARANJIT: Oh, yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, man. You’re doing it now too. I drove a monster van for the first time.
TARANJIT: It was a minivan.
BHAVNEET: To me it was a monster van. But then I started driving it and I’m like, this is not that big.
TARANJIT: Except you’re gripping the steering wheel so tight.
BHAVNEET: It was very windy. But my only problem was is super long and I couldn’t tell how big it was. So when trying to park, there’s no way I was going to forward park that thing. Because I knew, if I tried to forward park, I’m going to hit something. I saw how crazy way you maneuver that thing in the spot. And I don’t know how you do it. But I’m like, I can’t do that. So first try and like I’m going to reverse park and I made it in.
TARANJIT: Reversing with the van is so easy.
BHAVNEET: Reversing with any vehicle is so much easier because your mirrors give you view of the whole vehicle. Whereas if you’re forward parking, you’re just like, guess. And if you’re in a newer vehicle, you get a reverse camera. So that helps tell you how far back to go. So I mean, you got all those things with you. Like supporting you if you reverse parking, but if you’re forward parking, you’re on your own.
TARANJIT: So now you’re ready for a road trip.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Let’s go. Road Trip.
TARANJIT: Not yet.
BHAVNEET: Awww.
TARANJIT: We need money.
BHAVNEET: Somebody give me money. But don’t spoil the movie. Thanks.
TARANJIT: What are they gonna do give you give you money and then be like, oh, by the way.
BHAVNEET: He doesn’t do it. Do what? Do what?
TARANJIT: Do-wup.
BHAVNEET: DWUP. #DWUP. That’s us. Not really. It’s #DWUPDrivingThoughts.
TARANJIT: That only you have apparently.
BHAVNEET: Well, you don’t give any of them like nobody’s allowed into your brain apparently. But I have all the weird driving thoughts, apparently.
TARANJIT: Speaking of driving. I was at a gas station and…
BHAVNEET: Yes, because you need gas.
TARANJIT: Yes. Obviously.
BHAVNEET: For you and the vehicle.
TARANJIT: For me?
BHAVNEET: You’re drinking flat gas apparently.
TARANJIT: I was at a gas station. I pulled into the pump.
BHAVNEET: Okay.
TARANJIT: I parked the car.
BHAVNEET: Oh, man. This is a very interesting story. I don’t know what’s gonna happen next. Okay?
TARANJIT: I went in and gave cash. Right? Because I don’t give a credit card.
BHAVNEET: Because we give cash.
TARANJIT: I walked back, popped my gas tank door open. And then I look at the gas pump.
BHAVNEET: Hello.
TARANJIT: There’s a paper sign stuck on there. Just like they just freshly printed it off the printer and just taped it.
BHAVNEET: Okay, how do you know they freshly printed it?
TARANJIT: Because you know how usually when gas stations like 711 have like advertisement like oh, there’s this deal. They have like actual like, glossy nice…
BHAVNEET: Actually, no, because the 711 I go to they just tape paper things on to their door if you’re entering a convenience store.
TARANJIT: No no at the pump. They have like little things in the middle at the top.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yeah.
TARANJIT: No, this gas station. They’re cheap.
BHAVNEET: Well, they’re not. I mean, isn’t it owned by a Desi?
TARANJIT: So they’re cheap.
BHAVNEET: So, anybody here the dilemma episode? Yeah. Enough said.
TARANJIT: So it was like they just printed two of those announcements that they had taped on one sheet of paper, cut it in half so there was enough for two.
BHAVNEET: Because it wasn’t cut evenly.
TARANJIT: No and clear tape on either side and it was stuck on there. Not even straight. It was slightly crooked.
BHAVNEET: Ugh, couldn’t even take the time to measure it.
TARANJIT: And it was something about how there’s nule…
BHAVNEET: It’s nule.
TARANJIT: New juul stuff that they got.
BHAVNEET: Probably called Nule.
TARANJIT: Yes. The Nule. And then it was like a new Juul kit. And it was at a discounted price and blah blah blah. Like get it right. Trying to get people to get it because it’s cheap.
BHAVNEET: No, don’t get it.
TARANJIT: Then someone who was a customer, I guess. Took a pen and wrote, smoking is bad, okay?
BHAVNEET: And I could just hear them saying it. Okay? Smoking is bad. Okay? Yeah. I told you.
TARANJIT: I wanted to take a picture and then post it and be like, I agree with this guy, but then I forgot.
BHAVNEET: You forgot. What were you doing that you forgot?
TARANJIT: Putting gas in my car.
BHAVNEET: I mean, you didn’t have to do that, the pump was doing it for you.
TARANJIT: I wasn’t feeling good. Okay?
BHAVNEET: Okay? Yako. Backwards. That means not okay. Yako.
TARANJIT: Yeah go.
BHAVNEET: Go where? On a road trip. All right. Let’s go. Give me some money. Let’s go. Why am I like bear clawing? Your like rubbing your hands together like, ooh money. I’m like…
TARANJIT: Give me the money.
BHAVNEET: Grubby fingers. Give me the money.
TARANJIT: Oh no. Oh, no.
BHAVNEET: Paisa bolta hai.
TARANJIT: I thought you’re supposed to attach that meme.
BHAVNEET: Oh! I was. That was for which episode?
TARANJIT: I don’t know.
BHAVNEET: Okay, I’ll attach it to this one.
TARANJIT: Or attach it to both.
BHAVNEET: Maybe it was the dilemma one?
TARANJIT: Oh, yeah. We haven’t even released it yet.
BHAVNEET: I mean, yes, we have when you’re listening to this, it is released. Brain box.
TARANJIT:
Oh, yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes. Yako.
TARANJIT: Speaking of.
BHAVNEET: Speaking of Yako?
TARANJIT: Speaking of Desis. Well, not Desis directly but we speak a different language. So speaking of speaking different languages.
BHAVNEET: Okay.
TARANJIT: Apparently there were two women in Montana.
BHAVNEET: So there is stuff in Montana.
TARANJIT: Yes.
BHAVNEET: These two women.
TARANJIT: Yes.
BHAVNEET: Okay.
TARANJIT: Oh, yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: They were in a convenience store. And they were speaking Spanish with each other.
BHAVNEET: Okay.
TARANJIT: Yeah. And the what is it? The Customs Border Protection agent or something
BHAVNEET: In Montana?
TARANJIT: I mean, Canada’s right there.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. But like, isn’t that border supposed to be like nicer? Because it’s not walled off?
TARANJIT: Well, this US agent.
BHAVNEET: Well, yeah, they’re in the US.
TARANJIT: They are more strict than the Canadian one.
BHAVNEET: So true. Because who wants to leave Canada?
TARANJIT: He detained them or arrested them or something because they were speaking Spanish. And he said, nobody speaks Spanish up here.
BHAVNEET: What?
TARANJIT: And he’s like they’re immigrants.
BHAVNEET: You can speak Spanish anywhere.
TARANJIT: And he’s like, you’re illegal immigrants here. So he arrested them.
BHAVNEET: How did they… How did he know?
TARANJIT: Because they’re speaking Spanish. But those ladies because they’re US citizens, were like, like, told…I don’t know if they told him or what. He like asked for their IDs for proof and stuff. And now they’re filing a lawsuit against him.
BHAVNEET: Because he released and after he saw their IDs and stuff.
TARANJIT: He held them for 40 minutes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, my God. Why? First off, he had no reason to arrest them because you’re allowed to speak whatever you want. Hello, free speech.
TARANJIT: Yeah. So they filed a lawsuit to ask the judge or the federal court, I forget which court they went to, to make a rule that an agent can’t just arrest based on race or color.
BHAVNEET: Or language. Like that is really stupid. Like you can speak Spanish anywhere in the country, it’s not only restricted to the border.
TARANJIT: He was like, oh, there’s not barely there’s like not many Spanish speaking. There’s like barely any people who speak Spanish here.
BHAVNEET: Well, there’s barely anyone in Montana. No, just kidding. There probably is.
TARANJIT: But the women were originally from other states. So.
BHAVNEET: Well, yeah. You’re going to come from somewhere.
TARANJIT: Texas and California.
BHAVNEET: Okay, so I did come from there. But they’re legal. So…
TARANJIT: Exactly.
BHAVNEET: What’s it matter where they go? You’re allowed to go anywhere in the country. They could be in Alaska, it doesn’t matter.
TARANJIT: This might have been at the time where you know how the President was?
BHAVNEET: Yeah, detain anyone. Arrgh.
TARANJIT: Yeah. But the US agents are a little more firm and strict. As we noticed, when we’re crossing the border and coming back.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: Actually, no crossing the border we got Canadian agent. Coming back.
BHAVNEET: They were like, what are you doing? It’s like, I live here.
TARANJIT: And he literally threw our passports at us.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, it wasn’t very nice. It was very rude. It’s like, dude, I am a citizen born and raised in the Americas.
TARANJIT: In the America?
BHAVNEET: In the America. I was going to say the United States but then I…
TARANJIT: In the States. I was born in the States.
BHAVNEET: Seriously. It’s like I came in the citizen lane. Not the visiting lane. Like why are you being so rude?
TARANJIT: There no citizen visiting lane when you’re driving back across.
BHAVNEET: I was thinking of the airport. But yeah.
TARANJIT: I was like, what are you talking about?
BHAVNEET: I was thinking about that one.
TARANJIT: But the Canadian one was like, oh, how long you staying here? Like the typical questions like who are you visiting?
BHAVNEET: Yeah, they had to ask those things, but…
TARANJIT: Yeah, and then he’s like, looked inside. Like, match faces. Make sure that we’re the right people were in here and then you can go. Coming back we got asked way more questions.
BHAVNEET: Like how long did you stay? Why? Why did you stay?
TARANJIT: Yeah.
BHAVNEET: Why did you go to Canada? It’s like, because it’s nice.
TARANJIT: And then he just threw our passwords back at us instead of handing them.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: I thought that was a rudeness part.
BHAVNEET: Just because you’re a border agent doesn’t give you the right to be so rude.
TARANJIT: I don’t remember when we when we went in the past they were that bad.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, I was also half asleep.
TARANJIT: No
coming back? We were full.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yeah. Because it was the beginning. I don’t remember that either. So it was just that guy.
TARANJIT: I remember the one time we were trying we’re going to Canada and our door wouldn’t open.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. We were like I swear we’re not hiding anything our vans just…
TARANJIT: Old.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, and you know it’s a little, gets a little creaky cuz it’s old and you know, hinges are rusty. And…you pull the pool on the inside. Go! That was so bad. They were all just like… got it. It’s all good. See nothing here. That was interesting. I seriously thought he was gonna be like, everyone get out.
TARANJIT: Have you seen those stories? Where they’re like, where they started searching?
BHAVNEET: Yeah, it’s like I didn’t do anything. We’re just trying to go on vacation. We would never do that. I’m too scared. Would never do that.
TARANJIT: We don’t even bring things that are like, oh, this might be not okay. So let’s just leave it.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, people are just like, oh, you, they say not but it’s okay. They’re not gonna say anything about it. And we’re just like, no, they say no. Put it back. Don’t do it. I want to be able to come back to the US. Go home.
TARANJIT: Yeah, I want to be able to go home. Want to go ho-ome…
BHAVNEET: Okay. Why do we do so many SpongeBob references when we never really even watched that?
TARANJIT: We watched SpongeBob.
BHAVNEET: A lot. But only when our brother started watching it. So many references.
TARANJIT: But we watched it a lot.
BHAVNEET: Cuz he watched it on repeat. A lot. Oh, yes. A lot.
TARANJIT: What was with your face?
BHAVNEET: I almost fell asleep in the middle. Oh, yes. A lot. But now I’m awake.
TARANJIT: You know how you were talking about money earlier and how you wanted it?
BHAVNEET: And how I wanted it. Yes. I think everyone wants it.
TARANJIT: This is my segue.
BHAVNEET: Very, very clean.
TARANJIT: It’s not obvious right?
BHAVNEET: No, it’s not full of…
TARANJIT: You know how you were talking about money and how you wanted it?
BHAVNEET: Yes.
TARANJIT: There’s this guy who sued Burger King.
BHAVNEET: For wanting money?
TARANJIT: And he got money.
BHAVNEET: Well, that’s kind of what happens when you sue. When you soo. Oh my god. I just turned Gujrati. Soo.
TARANJIT: So apparently what happened was this guy, he originally was promised from Burger King to have free burgers for his life.
BHAVNEET: Why?
TARANJIT: Backstory. Let me tell you that. So what happened? He was at Burger King eating his meal, finishes his meal and was like, okay, I’m going to go use the bathroom before I leave. Goes to the bathroom. And when he tries to get out the door won’t open. It’s jammed.
BHAVNEET: Did they lock him in?
TARANJIT: It’s jammed.
BHAVNEET: Oh my god.
TARANJIT: And so luckily he had his receipt with him of what the food he just ordered. So he liked found the number of the of the store. Called the store.
BHAVNEET: Oh my god was it so long ago? Because I mean, you could have just googled the number if you didn’t have the receipt.
TARANJIT: And then he called them and told him how he was stuck and employees came in and they were like trying to get him out. One person like slid him a fly swatter to like jam in between.
BHAVNEET: Oh my god, it was that serious? How long was he stuck?
TARANJIT: And then that didn’t work. And then he heard the… a couple of employees outside laughing and mocking him because he was stuck in there.
28:23
Oh my god. What if you were stuck in there?
TARANJIT: But, and then they finally called a locksmith who was able to get him out.
BHAVNEET: Oh my god.
TARANJIT: But because…
BHAVNEET: Take a fly swatter that will open the door. Whoever opened a jammed door with a fly swatter?
TARANJIT: Sounds like something that would happen in a movie.
BHAVNEET: Fly swatter? Are you sure it wasn’t like a spatula cuz fly swatters just bend. They’re like…bleh…
TARANJIT: I don’t know. But then when he got out, he filed a lawsuit against them because he was tortured in a way in that they’re mocking him. So he’s like this was like the treatment he got.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: So then Burger King promised him free burgers for the rest of his life. Because they’re like, well, first he said, his lawyer said like, this is the amount of
BHAVNEET: Money yeah
TARANJIT: That you should give him, right, for what he endured. But Burger King was like it’s cheaper just to give them free burgers for life.
BHAVNEET: Really, how much were they asking for?
TARANJIT: Like $9,026. Something like that.
BHAVNEET: Shows you how much… what’s really in Burger King burgers if $9,000 is more than free burgers for the rest of your life.
TARANJIT: But apparent. Yeah.
BHAVNEET: Was this is an old man?
TARANJIT: I don’t know. Because that amount when the lawyer came up with that amount was one Whopper meal for the next. It was like one Whopper meal a week for the next 22 years. But Burger King was like I’m not giving them money. So they’re like here’s free b
BHAVNEET: So, like he could have like ten burgers a day and they’d all be free because free burgers.
TARANJIT: But then when he went there, Burger King’s like we’re not honoring that deal.
BHAVNEET: Why what? They, it should have been in writing somewhere. Right? Because it was a lawsuit that has to be in writing somewhere?
TARANJIT: Oh, no, I think it was originally he was going to file a lawsuit but they didn’t want a lawsuit. So they told him we’ll give you free meals. But then when they didn’t give him free meals, he filed a lawsuit.
BHAVNEET: That makes more sense.
TARANJIT: That’s what it was.
BHAVNEET: So then they just gave him the money.
TARANJIT: I think so.
BHAVNEET: What the heck.
TARANJIT: So if you were stuck in this bathroom?
BHAVNEET: No. I wouldn’t be in Burger King in the first place.
TARANJIT: Anywhere else in a restaurant. Fast food restaurant.
BHAVNEET: That’s a scary thought. Now, every time I go to the bathroom in the restaurant, I’m going to be like, Oh my god, what if I get stuck? Why would you put that in my brain?
TARANJIT: If you got stuck? First of all, which place would you rather get stuck at?
BHAVNEET: Do I have options? Or just anywhere?
TARANJIT: Out of the places we usually eat, casual eats.
BHAVNEET: Well I mean Zoes bathroom was pretty nice.
TARANJIT: Yeah.
BHAVNEET: Pretty, pretty fancy for a kind of like not fast food. But you know, like, kind of restaurant.
TARANJIT: Casual eats.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Is that what they’re called? Casual eats.
TARANJIT: Quick bites. Casual eats.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, that kind of thing. They had a pretty nice bathroom. So I mean, maybe there. Why are we talking about choosing our favorite location to get stuck in a bathroom? Where would you like to be stuck in? Which bathroom would you prefer?
TARANJIT: If you got stuck in there? Would you sue like this guy did?
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: If you got the same treatment?
BHAVNEET: Yeah if I get that treatment, it’s like what the heck? It’s your bathroom that you got me stuck in and you’re making fun of me for your faultiness. You’re you’re building’s faultiness.
TARANJIT: Would you ask for money or free meals?
BHAVNEET: Well, I don’t eat out that much. So…
TARANJIT: Cash? Do you think you’ll be able to win the suit?
BHAVNEET: Well, you would have to get a good lawyer. And don’t got money for that. So who knows? Depending on the lawyer, which I don’t have money for. Back to the money issue. I’m a poor broke college student. Cry face.
TARANJIT: How long would you have to be stuck in the bathroom to want to sue?
BHAVNEET: Well, knowing me if I’m even stuck for a little bit I will start freaking out.
TARANJIT: Yes. But the Zoe’s bathroom was pretty big. If you’re stuck in a like a smaller one.
BHAVNEET: But if it’s a small one t’s probably a stall so you can just crawl under it.
TARANJIT: True.
BHAVNEET: Worst case like the Panera. You just crawl under. That’s a little soothing. So like you can just you can get out.
TARANJIT: But do you want to crawl on that floor?
BHAVNEET: If I am stuck in there? I will crawl out and then just burn everything. No, I’m just kidding. Like my clothes, not the building like oh my god. Arson.
TARANJIT: Oh, man, you missed it.
BHAVNEET: But where would you prefer to get stuck if you were wanting to get stuck in a bathroom?
TARANJIT: In my own bathroom at home.
BHAVNEET: That’s not an option. Externally in a bathroom? Well I mean wouldn’t you be worried if I didn’t come out of the bathroom for a while? Because usually if I go pee you’d be there. So wouldn’t you be like, what’s up?
TARANJIT: I would be like yeah, what’s taking her so long?
BHAVNEET: Would you come check on me?
TARANJIT: But, I wouldn’t know.
BHAVNEET: Or would you just think about and then just sit there for 30 minutes an hour and be like, what’s going on?
TARANJIT: If it was that long. I’d be like suspicious. But what if you’re going number two?
BHAVNEET: In a public restroom. No thanks.
TARANJIT: You never know.
BHAVNEET: When you gotta go poo. You gotta go poop. Fact of the day. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
TARANJIT: Exactly. It’s hard to hold it.
BHAVNEET: Eww. Why would you do that? Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: So weird.
BHAVNEET: Why do you laugh weird?
TARANJIT: You’re the one laughing into the mic.
BHAVNEET: Ha ha ha. There was my laughing into the mic voice. See, I can make my voice deep. Why did you just face palm?
TARANJIT: It hurts.
BHAVNEET: Because laughing hurts?
TARANJIT: No, it just hurts.
BHAVNEET: I hurt? It hurt… Oh my god. Your head sounds hollow. Tuck Tuck Tuck Tuck.
TARANJIT: It hurts.
BHAVNEET: Anything in there?
TARANJIT: No.
BHAVNEET: Oh. I mean, it did sound hollow when you… Yeah.
TARANJIT: It always sounds hollow into this thing.
BHAVNEET: I don’t hear it. I like how I did this and got really close to the mic.
TARANJIT: I don’t hear it.
BHAVNEET: Face first. I don’t hear it. When I’m hearing through the headphones. I have moved my ears.
TARANJIT: To your eyes.
BHAVNEET: To my nose.
TARANJIT: Your nostrils?
BHAVNEET: Yes. Hello.
TARANJIT: Oh gosh. Whiff whiff.
BHAVNEET: Like that guy who was dieting by sniffing pizza and taking a bite of an apple. Who was that?
TARANJIT: Saw this video on Facebook.
BHAVNEET: I am dieting. I can’t eat pizza. Sniff. Eat apple.
TARANJIT: He was like in torture like he was like he really wanted to eat this pizza. But then he’s like… eat the apple.
BHAVNEET: So then he’s wasting all that pizza by always having pizza next to him.
TARANJIT: It was just one slice.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, but every time he’s gonna eat something healthy and he wants pizza he’s gonna have another slice of pizza next to him. And it can’t be the same one always because then they’ll get moldy and then it won’t smell good.
TARANJIT: Maybe he has roommates and stuff and they’ll eat and he’s just kind of using it to get the smell. Half of your taste buds, I don’t know what percentage, is your nose.
BHAVNEET: That’s true. That’s why people say just hold your nose and drink it. Like this.
TARANJIT: That’s if you didn’t get a whiff of it yet. If you already got it, it’s in there.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Like you drinking that concoction.
TARANJIT: Oh, gosh. That was so bad.
BHAVNEET: Lemon. Ginger.
TARANJIT: It was like black salt, ginger juice, lime juice, and water. It was so hard to get down.
BHAVNEET: Well, you’re the one with the stomach, GI bug.
TARANJIT: I didn’t choose to get it.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, don’t give it to me. Get away.
TARANJIT: I think it’s gone.
BHAVNEET: Drink some flat gas, ginger ale.
TARANJIT: All of them were flat. I like when is bubbly. It’s soothing.
BHAVNEET: I don’t think anybody likes flat ginger ale. Now that is one thing that I like to have bubbly, not sparkling water, but ginger ale.
TARANJIT: Ginger Ale.
BHAVNEET: I like it to have the bubbly. The bubbly.
TARANJIT: Sounds like you’re talking about champagne now. The bubbly.
BHAVNEET: You’re so bubbly.
TARANJIT: You are.
BHAVNEET: I am?
TARANJIT: Oh yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yeah. I don’t know why but that like reminded me of Stephanie from Full House. Does she say something like that?
TARANJIT: No. She says, what’s her line?
BHAVNEET: How rude.
TARANJIT: How rude.
BHAVNEET: I know. But I don’t know just the way you said it reminded me of that. And that was a good show.
TARANJIT: Who said…who says that one line? Now I don’t remember.
BHAVNEET: But Becky’s going to jail.
TARANJIT: What?
BHAVNEET: Becky went to jail.
TARANJIT: Oh, yeah.
BHAVNEET: Aunt Becky. Tsk Tsk. Trying to get the twins in the college. Not really the twins, but you get the point.
TARANJIT: When they brought the twins back as older. I mean, they could need help getting in to college the way they were.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: ut did Uncle Jesse agree with this? Or did she do it behind his back?
BHAVNEET: Well, I mean, he was over there in You being a weird Doctor.
TARANJIT: Didn’t he die in You.
BHAVNEET: Oh, I’m like Uncle Jesse’s alive.
TARANJIT: No, in You. Died inside of You.
BHAVNEET: Okay, you should have clarified. That is so weird and wrong.
TARANJIT: No, didn’t he die in the show. In the first season? Wait, we just ruined it. Did we?
BHAVNEET: Oh my gosh, you’re the one spoiler-ing. I didn’t even say anything.
TARANJIT: Okay. Is it okay to talk about a show once this way over? Like…
BHAVNEET: What if someone has not seen it yet and they want to binge watch it?
TARANJIT: Then they would have to avoid all internet because they know everything’s everywhere now.
BHAVNEET: Like you when you’re trying to watch something.
TARANJIT: Big brother or something. And I’m like, I can’t figure out who the winner is.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: Because we’re always behind.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, pretty much.
TARANJIT: So we have to avoid…
BHAVNEET: You’re the one who always accidentally sees. I don’t go on social media.
TARANJIT: I only follow them on one of my social media accounts. So I just have to avoid that account.
BHAVNEET: And then it ruins it because then you’re like, I know who’s going to win. And I’m here, like, I think is this person. And you’re like, ehhh. I think it’s neeeh. Him? Yeah.
TARANJIT: And you’re like…HIM?!.
BHAVNEET: Are you kidding me? Huin?
TARANJIT: Huin. That’s how it came out.
BHAVNEET: Okay.
TARANJIT: Wake Up. Oh, now I’m hypnotizing you?
BHAVNEET: Oh, man. I’m awake.
TARANJIT: Yeah, you are.
BHAVNEET: I’m awake. I’m awake.
TARANJIT: Don’t do that. One, you’re going to scratch your cornea, and two, you’re going to drag your skin
BHAVNEET: It’s already dragged.
TARANJIT: Stop it.
BHAVNEET: Okay. It’s bad for you.
TARANJIT: Oh, yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes. Ryan Higa.
TARANJIT: What?
BHAVNEET: I was pointing up when I said oh, yes. And then I looked up cuz I was pointing up. And I saw his face. On a book. Holding a book. Only at Target.
TARANJIT: Mhmm. Yeah.
BHAVNEET: That’s all I’ll say. Spoiler.
TARANJIT: Wait, you never answered my question.
BHAVNEET: You had a question?
TARANJIT: Did he die? Did he die in You?
BHAVNEET: Oh, in the show?
TARANJIT: Yeah.
BHAVNEET: I think so. Didn’t he kill him? Oh, shoot. Now I spoiled. Oh, my gosh, it was one thing for you to say that he was dead. It’s another for me to tell you how. Actually, you don’t know specifically. I don’t even know if that’s accurate. But that was a really intensely crazy…
TARANJIT: It was so good.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. whoever wrote that book. What was going through your mind? Like, how did you come up with that? Were you thinking all that? Like about oh my gosh. Like the author. How did they come up with such a crazy concept?
TARANJIT: A lot of people pull stuff from their lives.
BHAVNEET: Exactly. So did they know someone who was like that? Or were they like that? Oh my gosh.
TARANJIT: If they were like that? Why would they…?
BHAVNEET: You never know. People are crazy. When is the second season coming out?
TARANJIT: I don’t know.
BHAVNEET: I must watch it.
TARANJIT: Speaking of not being alive.
BHAVNEET: What?
TARANJIT: No, there was this crazy…
BHAVNEET: Nobody was speaking about not being…
TARANJIT: Yes we were.
BHAVNEET: You asked if he died.
TARANJIT: Exactly. So he was not alive.
BHAVNEET: Not being alive. Yes.
TARANJIT: He had to act like he was not alive.
BHAVNEET: Yes. Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: That took you a moment to be like, wait. Uh huh.
BHAVNEET: Mhmm.
TARANJIT: Yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: Speaking of not being alive. There’s this guy who’s suing his parents because he doesn’t want to be alive. For bringing him on to this earth…
BHAVNEET: What?
TARANJIT: …without his consent.
BHAVNEET: He was not here to be consented.
TARANJIT: It’s an Indian man.
BHAVNEET: Oh, my God. You desis and your problems.
TARANJIT: It was a 27-year-old Indian businessman.
BHAVNEET: He’s a businessman? Is he successful?
TARANJIT: He wants to sue his parents for bringing him into this world without asking him.
BHAVNEET: Well, then if you didn’t want to be here, why do you need to sue because you don’t need the money. You don’t need any of that because you didn’t want to be here.
TARANJIT: So they asked him, like, interviewed him. And they’re like, Why? What is your reasoning behind this? Like, why don’t you want to be here? And he said that he defines himself as an anti-naturalist. Do you know what that is?
BHAVNEET: No.
TARANJIT: Come on. Take a guess.
BHAVNEET: No. I feel like if you say it, I will be like, yeah, duh.
TARANJIT: So he’s an anti-nationalist who… Computer almost shut down.
BHAVNEET: He’s an anti-naturalist shut down. So he’s like, Nope, I don’t want to be here. I guess make sure his computer is shutdown. Computer is my life.
TARANJIT: He’s an anti-nationalist, which is someone who believes that life’s unsufferable. And that humans should not procreate.
BHAVNEET: What? Yeah, maybe he should not.
TARANJIT: He basically said that there’s no point to humanity, and that earth and animals will be so much better without the existence of humans.
BHAVNEET: So why is he a businessman?
TARANJIT: I don’t know. And you know, what’s funny? Both his parents are lawyers.
BHAVNEET: Oh, my God. So the chances of him winning…he should of thought this one through.
TARANJIT: And he can’t find a lawyer to take his case.
BHAVNEET: Well, yeah. I mean, are his parents’ good lawyers? Either way, I mean, who’s going to create, like, take this case?
TARANJIT: His mom told him that if he could find a way to ask an unborn child, can I get consent before they give birth to him then she would accept that it was his…that it was her fault that he was here.
BHAVNEET: Because there is no way.
TARANJIT: Exactly.
BHAVNEET: They’re not here to ask. What is wrong with people?
TARANJIT: And then, whoever was interviewing asked him, they’re like, are you not happy with your life? And he’s like, it’s not that I’m unhappy.
BHAVNEET: So what the heck? Shut up and go live your life.
TARANJIT: He’s like, life is good.
BHAVNEET: Then, case dismissed. Like there’s nothing here.
TARANJIT: But he rather not be here.
BHAVNEET: Like here physically? As in the city that he is in?
TARANJIT: On the planet.
BHAVNEET: Then go to the moon. Go to Mars. You can be the first person to go there and tell us how it is. And if it’s not good, you can just stay there and then there, you’re happy because you’re not here. And you’ll be happy because Earth is better off without humans, you.
TARANJIT: So I don’t know if his reasoning was to try and, like, create a message to be like human are destroying Earth.
BHAVNEET: That’s a very wrong way to do it.
TARANJIT: But…
BHAVNEET: You just make yourself look like a loony bin.
TARANJIT: Exactly.
BHAVNEET: Who came up with the term loony bin?
TARANJIT: You.
BHAVNEET: I did?! No. Who saw a bin and was like that’s a loony bin. What’s a loony then?
TARANJIT: What’s loony?
BHAVNEET: Lune like salt. That’s a salty bin.
TARANJIT: Very grainy.
BHAVNEET: Like, someone saw a bin and they’re like, Oh, you see that in there that’s loony. That’s a loony bin. And they saw…
TARANJIT: They probably said that’s lune in the bin so then a loony bin.
BHAVNEET: That’s a very luney bin. Very salty. And then they saw some crazy person. And like, Oh my God, that’s a loony bin over there. Like that salty bin. But then they would all have to be salty. But they’re not all angry. Isn’t that what salty is? So. There’s the origin of the word loony bin. You’re welcome.
TARANJIT: Your welcome?
BHAVNEET: The more you know. So next time, you see a bin that is salted. You can be like, Oh, that’s a loony bin. Lune. Salt.
TARANJIT: In the bin. Lune. Loony bin.
BHAVNEET: Well, I mean, salt dehydrates. So the loony bin people that you see, are they all dehydrated? Maybe you should give them some water.
TARANJIT: So they won’t be luney?
BHAVNEET: Yeah. So they’ll be hydrated so that they’ll just be bins.
TARANJIT: They will be water bins.
BHAVNEET: Hydrated bins instead of loony bins. See. You’re helping. By giving water.
TARANJIT: I mean, Oh, yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes. Plug promotional services announcement. Who came up with that? Crazy person. That person was a loony bin. You should give him some water.
TARANJIT: You?!
BHAVNEET: Yeah, please give me some water.
TARANJIT: Let me get some oxygen from here and find hydrogen somewhere and put them together. And give you some H2O.
BHAVNEET: Ooooo. I ate it.
TARANJIT: Okay. I’ll give you a bubble of it.
BHAVNEET: Just a bubble? Must be a big bubble.
TARANJIT: It took me that long to find two hydrogen molecules. I got plenty of oxygen here.
BHAVNEET: Well, I mean, the air is not just oxygen.
TARANJIT: I know.
BHAVNEET: There’s nitrogen and a bunch of other stuff and I keep hitting this table.
TARANJIT: It’s not a table. It’s a desk.
BHAVNEET: Table.
TARANJIT: You see that brown spot you just gave it?
BHAVNEET: I didn’t give it a brown spot.
TARANJIT: You hit it so hard that you gave it a black eye.
BHAVNEET: That was his eye? That’s a very tiny eye.
TARANJIT: Well, you were hitting around that area which caused this deformation. Deformation. Discoloration.
BHAVNEET: Deformation?
TARANJIT: I shouldn’t have corrected myself. You wouldn’t have realized.
BHAVNEET: I didn’t. I caused it to form into a table.
TARANJIT: So a discolored black eye.
BHAVNEET: Table. I thought I heard discolored fat guy. Not black eye. But I heard fat guy. I mean, it is a pretty big desk table.
TARANJIT: So you turned a fat guy into this desk?
BHAVNEET: No. You said this desk got turned into a fat guy. By touching, it turned into a fat guy.
TARANJIT: No. Its funny guy is the line. Duh.
BHAVNEET: Funny guy. Dhoom 2. Yeah. Good movie. Except for one of the actors really can’t dance.
TARANJIT: Didn’t we talk about this last time?
BHAVNEET: Yea. You brought it up again. Oh, so bad.
TARANJIT: His dance is so funny to watch.
BHAVNEET: Drunken dance. So it was a drunken dance. That’s what it looked like.
TARANJIT: If you watch any older movie, they’re dancing. You could just keep laughing from that. If you need a good laugh just…
BHAVNEET: Like the one picture of Akshay Kumar in garam masala. That was a dance move that picture that I posted when you’re so tired, that you try to put yourself to sleep. If you haven’t seen it, check out our Instagram page and you will see it. That was a dance move. And we happen to pause it.
TARANJIT: You happened to pause it.
BHAVNEET: Yes. I happened to accidentally pause it while he was trying to apparently put himself to sleep. Which somebody thought somewhere that that was a good dance move.
TARANJIT: You know all the moves in the older movies were hilarious.
BHAVNEET: They were. So I mean, if for nothing else, just watch the music numbers and Bollywood movies. They’re so funny.
TARANJIT: If you need a good laugh. Just play that.
BHAVNEET: Gol mal hai bae sab gol mal hai.
TARANJIT: That movie wasn’t as good as I originally thought it to be. I couldn’t watch it.
BHAVNEET: I know. The first time we watched we were like ha funny. But we were also younger. And when those older movies were newer, so now that you watch it, you’re like, eehh.
TARANJIT: I couldn’t get through it.
BHAVNEET: Okay…
TARANJIT: Certain older movies I can. But others I’m like, I liked this?
BHAVNEET: Hrithik Roshan. Yeah!
TARANJIT: I can watch any of his movies over and over again and not get tired.
BHAVNEET: Except for one which was not so great.
TARANJIT: And I can recite…wow I said that weird.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: I can recite.
BHAVNEET: There’s gonna be a recital, and she’s gonna perform all his dance numbers.
TARANJIT: Oh, no. I didn’t say I can do his dance. I can not dance.
BHAVNEET: I don’t think anybody can. He’s his own…
TARANJIT: Tiger is pretty close.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yeah. Actually, he is. Actually he does all these lines. He can’t bhangra to save his life. He can do any dance style, but he can’t do the simple unrhythmic…
TARANJIT: Because it’s not on rhythm.
BHAVNEET: Exactly.
TARANJIT: So he can’t do it. He can’t get his shoulders to not be in lines
BHAVNEET: So even when he was doing a Punjabi song and everyone else was like trying to do…they tried to put a Bhangra step in there. But then it turned into some sort of weird breakdancing move because he couldn’t do it. Because like Hahaha, no, psych. Hahaha.
TARANJIT: You thought that I was going to…
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Oh, yeah, that’s the spot where a bhangra move should of totally been. But I’m gonna breakdance. Line. Line. Smooth lines.
TARANJIT: What was I saying before you cut me off?
BHAVNEET: Uh…reciting.
TARANJIT: Oh. Right.
BHAVNEET: Oh. Okay. You were reciting something.
TARANJIT: I was just going to say that I can recite. Wow. I can’t say the word. Re. Cite.
BHAVNEET: You said it right.
TARANJIT: Recite. I keep saying ree cite instead of recite. Like all together. Recite.
BHAVNEET: Recite.
TARANJIT: I feel like I am saying it weird.
BHAVNEET: No. You were saying it right. And then you oh my gosh, it just sounds weird. Recite. You’re saying it right. So you did it. Until you went, re- cite. Wee snah. That’s what it sounded like. What’s that from you?
TARANJIT: You made it up.
BHAVNEET: I did?
TARANJIT: I feel like you were trying to remember something and you made it into wee snah.
BHAVNEET: Speaking of. I mishear, lyrics and dialogues all the time and turn them into something way funnier than they actually were.
TARANJIT: I know. I like her version of songs sometimes.
BHAVNEET: The song from Partner, the Bollywood movie. I don’t know if there’s an English movie called that. But…
TARANJIT: Is there?
BHAVNEET: I don’t know. Probably. It’s an English word.
TARANJIT: Just the title partner.
BHAVNEET: But the Bollywood movie Partner There’s a song.
TARANJIT: Pump up the jam.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yeah. Pump up the jam. Soni de nakhre. That’s the song. So if you’ve never heard the song, you should YouTube Google it.
TARANJIT: Youtube google? Google then YouTube?
BHAVNEET: Soni de nakhre from Partner. And the line where they say pump up the jam. I, for the longest, could not understand what they were saying. And thought they were not speaking
Hindi. or English or any language. So it originally went form gadi jaeb, which means car pocket, to like nah, that doesn’t make any sense. And then like, oh, there saying papi jaeb.
TARANJIT: Kiss the pocket.
BHAVNEET: Not even the, just kiss pocket, which makes so much more not-sense. But, I’m like Yes. It’s not gadi jaeb, its papi jaeb. So it was like Soni de nakhre… papi jaeb. Papi jaeb. Instead of pump up the jam. Papi jaeb. Soni de nakhre kiss pocket kiss pocket. What a great dance.
TARANJIT: They will probably make it into a move.
BHAVNEET: Kiss pocket. Kiss pocket. I mean…
TARANJIT: Gadi jaeb.
BHAVNEET: I’ll take that car and that car. And that car that car that car. Kiss pocket. Cause you put the car in the pocket. So then you kiss the pocket. Oh my god. It makes so much sense. Who needs to pump up the jam when you can kiss your pocket? Well, I mean, they don’t put pockets in women’s clothes. So I mean, if I had a pocket I would love it that much, too. Kiss pocket. Kiss pocket.
TARANJIT: But it wasn’t the females that were singing, it was the males.
BHAVNEET: No. So it was like Soni de nakhre. Okay, so that’s her nakhre. Kiss pocket. Kiss pocket. That makes so much sense now.
TARANJIT: You always make sense on this apparently.
BHAVNEET: Like they like her…What would you call nakhre in English? Her behavior? I guess? I don’t know.
TARANJIT: I don’t know how to directly translate it.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. So that’s pretty much what I was saying. I don’t know. Something like that. So then they’re like pump up the jam. So like, I like your weird like little antics or whatever. An then like kiss pocket kiss pocket. Lots of kissing. Cause she likes it. Cars in her pocket. Kiss pocket. Kiss pocket. I’ll never be able to look at that the same way again.
TARANJIT: Now I want to watch that movie again.
BHAVNEET: They’re gonna be like, pump up the jam, doing the raising the roof dance move. And then all we are going to be singing is kiss pocket. Kiss pocket. Oh, man.
TARANJIT: Oh, yes.
BHAVNEET: Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: I will be seeing that.
BHAVNEET: What other songs? I can’t think of any others. Have you ever misheard lyrics or am I the only one?
TARANJIT: All the time.
TARANJIT: Like I hear the weirdest things but then they sometimes I don’t even tell you because I feel it sounds so stupid. Like, I don’t know what they really said. But this is what I thought.
TARANJIT: Sometimes…Like for the longest time I’m singing the song the way I think it is. And then I’m like, let me just look it up.
BHAVNEET: And then you’re like, what song is this? And where’s the song I’ve been listening to?
TARANJIT: I’m like, that doesn’t sound like it fits.
BHAVNEET: My lyrics make more sense. Please insert those. Next time new dance move. It’s gonna be all the rave. Kiss pocket. Kiss pocket.
TARANJIT: And hit mic.
BHAVNEET: Yes. I’m sorry. Boo. Boo.
TARANJIT: You’re going to give that a black eye.
BHAVNEET: I’m sorry.
TARANJIT: First my desk…
BHAVNEET: Well, I mean, if you’re dancing, you might accidentally give yourself a black eye if you’re like really into it.
TARANJIT: While you’re putting the car into your pocket?
BHAVNEET: Oh, shoot.
TARANJIT: You put the car in your eye?
BHAVNEET: Why would you put a car in you eye? It’s already in your pocket.
TARANJIT: While you’re trying to like dance and putting it in your pocket? Your like…
BHAVNEET: Why would you be doing kiss pocket if there is a car in your hand?
TARANJIT: You mixed it up and you’re like, oh, shoot, this is the car pocket.
BHAVNEET: So in all of this, there’s one big flaw that we didn’t realize. Or we haven’t talked about. How are you gonna pick up a car and put it in your pocket?
TARANJIT: No one said it was real. It could be a toy car.
BHAVNEET: Well, why are you getting so excited about it and kissing your pocket? Kiss pocket. Kiss pocket.
TARANJIT: It could be a collectible.
BHAVNEET: Oh, let me just pick up this car. Oh, I broke my everything. Yeah, cuz you can’t pick it up. It weights several tons.
TARANJIT: Unless you have adrenaline, wow, adrenaline pumping through your veins.
BHAVNEET: Unless if you have intra. Intra what? Intra internal so intra what?
TARANJIT: Intra into music. Remember that one song by Daler Mehndi that they made the chicken?
BHAVNEET: Oh my god. Yes. It was…it was him making weird noises. He wasn’t actually saying words. It was like a hot chicken hot chicken hot chicken.
TARANJIT: Yeah, wasn’t he like hot chicken man. Chicken man. Chicken man.
BHAVNEET: Yea. So instead of the noise. It was hot chicken hot chicken hot chicken. A chicken man. Chicken man. Chicken man.
TARANJIT: What was that one? It wasn’t… I don’t think it was a misheard lyric. There was this video that was going around for the longest time where this guy or a group of guys that were dancing through a store.
BHAVNEET: That was hilarious. They would play like, no, they would just play punjabi songs and they would be like in the aisles. And then just randomly when no one’s looking. They would just started dancing. And when someone came, they’re just like, Oh, yes, I’m looking at this toothpaste. Uh-huh. Yeah.
TARANJIT: And then they would like pop up and down the lanes.
BHAVNEET: They would be in each lane…aisle. And then someone would be recording from…first off like, the store owner had to know because he was recording from up high or something. And the first person would just be like, pop up dance. Next person pop up. The best was like when they were dancing on this old lady like comes into the lane. Then they’re like, oh, grab something like, Uh huh. They both like grab something. Oh, yes.
TARANJIT: Oh, yes.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Oh, yes. And the minute they turn, like they’re not even out of the lane they just turned on. They’re like, dance dance dance.
TARANJIT: I want to see that video again.
BHAVNEET: Me too. That was so funny. Saw that so long ago, though.
TARANJIT: I don’t know how I thought of it. But I just thought of it.
BHAVNEET: That was hilarious. I wonder if they made more? Whoever these people are?
TARANJIT: We gotta look.
BHAVNEET: They need to dance somewhere. I mean, there was one where they did an outside into some random like Park area, but those store ones…
TARANJIT: The store one was the best. Definitely hands down the best.
BHAVNEET: Hands up the best. Who says hands down? Like if you really like something? Wouldn’t you like put your hands up and like clap or like yay. Why would you put your hands down?
TARANJIT: Cuz, they’re like…
BHAVNEET: Bowing?
TARANJIT: Hands down the best.
BHAVNEET: Or, you can just be like hands down the best. Kiss pocket. Is that what you’re doing? So I guess that makes sense. You’re bowing to whatever is the best.
TARANJIT: Yeah.
BHAVNEET: Not raising? Like…
TARANJIT: No, not like raising the roof.
BHAVNEET: You’re bringing it down?
TARANJIT: Yeah, we’re bringing it down.
BHAVNEET: Oh no. That’s serious. That just bring the whole level up. Not fun. To this. That makes no sense.
TARANJIT: I’m gonna take the fun and bring it to the ground.
BHAVNEET: Not raising it to the ground because you’re on the first floor, not the second. So you’re bringing the entertainment to the first floor.
TARANJIT: Everyone come to the first floor.
BHAVNEET: Because we’re raving too hard that you’re gonna break the floor and come down anyway, so just come down safely. Oh my gosh. What kind of yawn was that? Like, let me do it in intervals. Huh huh hu-hu-huh. Okay, it’s all out
TARANJIT: Speaking of store video recording,
BHAVNEET: I thought you were going to say speaking of interval yawning.
TARANJIT: Interval. Go get your popcorn. Go get your drinks. Come back. And we’ll resume.
BHAVNEET: I don’t want popcorn. I want drinks though. Not that kind. But…
TARANJIT: Do you remember the panda? Cuz you know why.
BHAVNEET: Oh my gosh. When I recently went to alumni day at our high school, the history teacher whose classroom I was going to last. They were watching the panda commercials. So I literally just sat there at the end. Because high schoolers now say don’t say anything. I don’t know. It’s just really weird. But we just sat there and watched those cuz you know why? It was like, oh my god. So funny.
TARANJIT: We used to watch that almost all the time in that class.
BHAVNEET: It was that same teacher. There was like three that we watched. One was, there was a dad and a son. And they were in a grocery store. And they stop in an aisle. And the Panda just comes up to the front of their cart and stares at them. And then he just keeps staring and then they’re just like uhhh. And the panda just keep staring at them. So then they the dad grabs one of the panda things, whatever food like what is the commercial…
TARANJIT: Cheese or butter or something.
BHAVNEET: Whatever is a commercial for he grabs one of those things and puts it in his cart. And the panda just stands there and keep staring at them. And so he grabs another one, and then he puts it in his cart. And then the panda moves.
TARANJIT: The first one he ever showed us was this really funny one.
BHAVNEET: It was really weird. I’m like, okay.
TARANJIT: Not that one. There was another one.There was one that was super funny. Now I have to go back and look at that. We got to see the dancing people in the store.
BHAVNEET: And you know why panda commercial.
TARANJIT: Because you know why.
BHAVNEET: If you’ve never seen any of those commercials, you need to watch them because they’re weird. Yet funny. Like who came up with those ideas? Whoever did is like a whole different level of weird funny.
TARANJIT: Hands down.
BHAVNEET: Hands in the middle. Ninja moves. We’re gonna exercise hands in the middle.
TARANJIT: Then you raise the roof, and then you bring it down.
BHAVNEET: And then you just fan them. Good job.
TARANJIT: And that’s a move if you’re trying to get rid of belly fat. You fan…
BHAVNEET: You fan the belly fat away. Go away. Go away. If only it worked like that.
TARANJIT: Well, I mean, not to get rid of belly fat. To build the muscles. T push the fat out.
BHAVNEET: Who needs to build the muscles when you just get rid of the fat?
TARANJIT: Yeah, but once you get rid of the fat, you can build some abs.
BHAVNEET: I just want to get rid of the fat. It’s okay.
TARANJIT: But its so hard.
BHAVNEET: I’m gonna cry now so you can continue the rest of this. Okay, bye. Okay, I’m back.
TARANJIT: Your nose was like this.
BHAVNEET: What is this?
TARANJIT: Like flare. Your nose. It dimples. Your nostrils like go up and down.
BHAVNEET: I get dimples in my nose?
TARANJIT: Yeah. It dents in and your nostrils go like this.
BHAVNEET: My nostrils dance?
TARANJIT: They’re raising the roof. And then right here it pinches. Dimples
BHAVNEET: Cause I am… why you can’t do that? You can’t flare your nostrils? Your nostrils. You just did it. What are you doing with your mouth?
TARANJIT: I’m trying to flare it.
BHAVNEET: It’s like you’re trying to eat your lip. Who can do it faster? Nostril flare contest. That’s a bad idea cuz I started laughing. You’re not even doing anything.
TARANJIT: I can’t when you’re doing it.
BHAVNEET: Okay. Fine. You’re turn.
TARANJIT: You’re like…I don’t know how to do it.
BHAVNEET: Why you make your mouth like really long? I should record this. What is with your face expression?
TARANJIT: I can’t do it.
BHAVNEET: Big eyes. You’re not supposed to like strain your face. You’re supposed to completely relaxed. Here’s a lesson on how to flare your nostrils. Relax. And then do it.
TARANJIT: Do it.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, you gotta think about it. Good. See you did one. One little flare.
TARANJIT: I got this one moving.
BHAVNEET: They both did. One little flare lit. You did one little at first, like… eh. You’re like a pig who just went on to the pig pen for the first time. What’s up? What’s up brandy? Nice cap. You remember that? The quiz we took like, oh 50 bajillion…
TARANJIT: It wasn’t Brandy. We got guy names.
BHAVNEET: It said Randy. Not brandy or not. You’re still talking about wine? Alcohol. Is that wine or champagne? Or?
TARANJIT: Bubbly?
BHAVNEET: No, brandy. What is Brandy?
TARANJIT: Oh, it’s like, liquor of some kind.
BHAVNEET: That’s also a part of the show brandy and something.
TARANJIT: You get more hyper.
BHAVNEET: No. I sleep crazy.
TARANJIT: You sleep crazy?
BHAVNEET: Oh. Yeah, that’s it. I mean, I don’t sleep in one position. I go everywhere.
TARANJIT: Well, good thing you have a bed to yourself.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: So you can go everywhere.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Who knows what I do. I mean I use to sleepwalk. So.
TARANJIT: So now you lay lay wiggle. Sleep wiggle.
BHAVNEET: Fruit salad. Yummy, yummy. Food salad is yummy. Except for I can’t eat half the fruit in fruit salad so…
TARANJIT: That’s why you make a fruit salad with the fruit that you can eat.
BHAVNEET: So every time we go to Zoë’s, and we get a fruit salad I’m like well you get this. You get 90% of it. I’ll eat the grapes.
TARANJIT: Oranges.
BHAVNEET: Sometimes they have cantaloupe.
TARANJIT: Orange you glad they are in there?
BHAVNEET: No. Sometimes they have cantaloupe in there that doesn’t taste good but…
TARANJIT: They have watermelon too sometimes.
BHAVNEET: Yea, but it is not the season so we need to go back when they have fruit that I can eat. Can I specifically be like in your fruit salad can you pick out all the apples?
TARANJIT: That would take too long.
BHAVNEET: I have an allergy. Then they would be like don’t get the fruit salad.
TARANJIT: Exactly. They would be like pick a different side. They have more options.
BHAVNEET: But the rest don’t taste good. I want a fruit salad. Yummy yummy. Suing. I would not but.
TARANJIT: I know we’ve already discussed this.
BHAVNEET: Disgusting this?
TARANJIT: What I didn’t say that.
BHAVNEET: We already disgust this.
TARANJIT: We did we discussed it
BHAVNEET: It’s like you despise it but you had to say it in your own way. We disgust this. It’s disgusting, we discussed it. It’s like we shun it we disgust it. Let me show you what you look like.
TARANJIT: Oh my god.
BHAVNEET: Touché. What does that even mean? Touché.
TARANJIT: Touché. Isn’t it like French or something?
BHAVNEET: Yeah, what does it mean? Like, to you Che. Who’s Che? But it’s to you. This is to you.
TARANJIT: Ask Google
BHAVNEET: Hey Che, this is for you. So to you. Why? It’s like who is Che? So last time everyone seeing cows with buns and now everyone knows a Che. Somebody named che and everything’s for them. This is to you. So they also don’t know grammar. So instead of this is for you, this is to you.
TARANJIT: From French, literally. Touched.
BHAVNEET: Touched? Why is everyone say touché when it’s like, I don’t even know why people say touché. They just like insert it wherever they deem necessary or like it seems like it would fit like what does it mean?
TARANJIT: When I typed what is touché like in French like what’s the origin. Underneath like the first one told me what it meant. The next one says what is a touche?
BHAVNEET: Uh, butush.
TARANJIT: Then it says, alternate spelling of tush.
BHAVNEET: Well I mean, yeah. it’s your tush.
TARANJIT: The buttocks.
BHAVNEET: The buttocks? Not just buttocks.
TARANJIT: they shake their tushes.
BHAVNEET: Can I have it in a sentence please? They shake their tushes.
TARANJIT: A shatush?
BHAVNEET: What is a shatush?
TARANJIT: That;s the next thing it says, a shatush.
BHAVNEET: Oh, so you know how Shahs are like the kings. So they don’t have a regular old tush they have a shatush. Like you know badshahs, like the kings. They have a shatush. A royal tush.
TARANJIT: Then there’s this one that says, what is your tush someone asked, right?
BHAVNEET: What is your tush?
TARANJIT: Yeah, and then it says the part of your body you sit on.
BHAVNEET: Yes. Thank you for that very informative lesson.
TARANJIT: And then their example. I slipped on the ice and landed right on my tush.
BHAVNEET: Oh, so instead of touche it’s tush now? They’re like, what’s a touche? I slipped and fell on my tush.
TARANJIT: What’s a tush-a?
BHAVNEET: A tush-a?
TARANJIT: What’s it to ya?
BHAVNEET: It’s a tush-a. It’s a tush, ya. Instead of eh.
TARANJIT: Ya.
BHAVNEET: Who says ya? Apparently we do. Instead of tush-a. Oh! It’s a tush, ay.
TARANJIT: Oh.
BHAVNEET: Oh my god.
TARANJIT: I mean, Canadians.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, so they’ve been saying butt all this time and nobody understood. And everyone’s like, it’s fancy. Touché. Touché. And then so everyone who says it’s like, you said that. I’m just like butt ay. Butt a what?
TARANJIT: But a…
BHAVNEET: Tush.
TARANJIT: Touché.
BHAVNEET: Shatush. A royal tush. Okay.
TARANJIT: This podcast is getting crazy weird.
BHAVNEET: Well, I mean isn’t that what we are? Crazy and weird?
TARANJIT: You are but what am I?
BHAVNEET: Touché. See how what I did there? That was a good place to insert that. I feel like everyone just uses that word but didn’t know what it meant but now you know. You’re just saying butt everywhere. Like, butt butt butt butt butt.
TARANJIT: Ay.
BHAVNEET: Ayy.
TARANJIT: Ayyyyyy…..
BHAVNEET: Kiss pocket, kiss pocket, kiss pocket. Ay… It’s a song now. Kiss pocket ay. Kiss pocket kiss pocket kiss pocket. Ay….
TARANJIT: Gaddi jeb.
BHAVNEET: Touche. Gaddi in the jeb. Then kiss pocket kiss pocket kiss pocket.
TARANJIT: What if it said kadi jeb.
BHAVNEET: Gadi jeb. Kiss pocket. Then kadi jeb. Then you took it out. So you put the gadi in the jeb and you kept kissing it. And because you kept kissing it, someone took out the pocket. So, it’s like stop kissing the pocket. So kadi jeb. Took out pocket. So now what? But ay….. But then the person would be like, but ay! Give back my jeb. So that’s how the story went. Like you
gotta… someone gave, gifted you gadi, a car, and then you’re like put the gadi in your jeb. So like gadi jeb.
TARANJIT: Then you kiss it because your like…
BHAVNEET: And then you kiss it because you’re like oh my god, I have a gadi in my pocket. So, kiss pocket kiss pocket kiss pocket. And then the person who gave it to you was like, Why do you keep kissing your pocket? So then they took out the pocket. Kadi jeb. So then you’re like don’t kiss it anymore. And then you’re like…
TARANJIT: But, ay!
BHAVNEET: Then you’re like but, ay! That was my gadi and that was my jeb. I can kiss it all I want.
TARANJIT: What if somebody heard this and they remade the song with your lyrics.
BHAVNEET: Then it would be more funny. Somebody needs to do this. So like somebody who is musically inclined, please do this. And send me a copy. Thank you. So I can kiss pocket kiss pocket.
TARANJIT: You know how many are gonna get? Zero.
BHAVNEET: That’s not nice.
TARANJIT: They’re gonna send it to me.
BHAVNEET: What? Somebody please send me a music video of this. It doesn’t even have to be a music video but that would be more funny. But…the song please.
TARANJIT: But ay…..
BHAVNEET: But ay. Touché. I need this in song form. Like it’ll be all the rave we’re gonna make this a hit. You and me together. Not you, but you listening. You and me together.
TARANJIT: So I am not part of this anymore?
BHAVNEET: I guess not. I don’t know. See ya. Bye. Kiss pocket kiss pocket.
TARANJIT: I’ll take my microphone with me.
BHAVNEET: Wait, when I took my microphone I took you with me too. Somebody please make me this video. Or it could just be the song and send me the lyrics with it so that I can know exactly what you’re saying. So I don’t misinterpret it. And think it’s something completely different. So instead of gadi jeb maybe I think it’s like
TARANJIT: Kadi jeb.
BHAVNEET: Or like, padi jeb. I’ll leave you with that image.
TARANJIT: When the fart comes out the side.
BHAVNEET: No. It’s the fart pocket.
TARANJIT: It comes out the side.
BHAVNEET: This is a very farty pocket. So please send, somebody please make this song and send me the lyrics with it. It’s going to be a hit. We’re going to make it a hit. So please do that.
TARANJIT: Are you really?
BHAVNEET: Yes. So please send it to us. And don’t forget to check us out on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest at Drive With Us Podcast. And yeah, that’s about it. Everyone continue kiss pocketing because it’s a new song. And we’ll see you next time.
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