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Driving Profile: Evan Money
(sneak peek)
EVAN: You know, I was the president of the crappy car club. And I couldn’t afford to have anyone fix them and I was like man, I got to get to work. So I stuck my thumb out trying to hitchhike. I had people honking their horns. Screaming things. I had people telling me I was number one, but with the other finger. And everybody’s like Evan, what are you doing?
(intro music)
BHAVNEET: Welcome back to Drive With Us, a podcast where we bring on a new guest each episode to talk about the crazy things they’ve experienced on the road, who they are as drivers, and how they became the driver they are today. I’m Bhavneet.
TARANJIT: And I’m Taranjit. And today’s driver is Evan Money, who’s happily married to his bride and they remarry in a different state or country every year. He lives life to the full and believes enjoying life is a sacred act of worship. And as a self diagnosed ADD Visionary is able to create a life of harmony. And in today’s episode, we talked to him about his driving experiences where he shared with us how he had to hitchhike in a trash truck and the crazy directions he got when he was looking for a surf spot in Mexico.
(transition music)
BHAVNEET: Welcome Evan. Thanks so much for joining us today.
EVAN: Oh. Super excited to ride with the sisters here.
TARANJIT: I’m so excited to hear all your stories because we asked you for a story and you provided us with a little snippet of the beginning. And then you also mentioned you have more. So do you want to start off with sharing those stories with us?
EVAN: If you got two weeks, I’ve got plenty of them. As an ADD visionary you guys have to keep me on track. So I’m just going to stay in my lane so to speak and let you guys guide me cuz otherwise were going to be going all over the place and they’ll be no way to rake me in and I don’t think you want a 48 hour podcast. So.
TARANJIT: Yeah, I don’t think we have time for that. But maybe we can split it up into more than one.
EVAN: We can do part 1 and 2. I’m down for that.
TARANJIT: The first story that you did share with us was a trash truck one, do you want to start with that one?
EVAN: Sure. So in the theme of enjoying the ride ride to the rhythm all kinds of old school driving and for someone who’s born and raised in Los Angeles traffic and driving was just ingrained in my growing up and I always like to joke and I was joking with you guys off air that you know, Los Angeles we’re famous for two things: we invented traffic and we invented gangs. I mean that’s kind of the the legacy of Los Angeles, but I believe is that a lot of people don’t know the Los Angeles is Spanish for City of Angels and oftentimes I’ll share people say where you from I’m from City of Angels. And they’re like where’s that? I’m like, oh does everyone not know it’s Los Angeles. So now I’m realizing that most people don’t know that so I like to think I want to be one of the angels in the City of Angels but during my youth and younger days my driving necessary did not reflect that. But to you guys’ point of the trash truck story. This is something that I learned. It didn’t strike me as odd until later and I was like, wow, that’s kind of a really cool story. Wow, I can really iIncorporate some of the things I’ve learned about taking action and taking responsibility and really dialing things. And so I was in a situation where and some of your listeners may be able to relate it again as this is all about driving, you know. I was president of the crappy car club and always had junky cars and it’s just what it was what it was, you know, it was low income cuz you get you have cuz in LA back in those days, there wasn’t Uber. There wasn’t any of the stuff. You had to have a car. That was just the way it was. So find these junky cars and I couldn’t afford to have anyone fix them so I had to learn how to work on cars. It wasn’t that I liked to do that far from it, but it was like well if I wanted to run I got to figure out how to turn the wrench here. So it is now 3:55 in the afternoon. I have to be at work at this fancy 4-star hotel at 4 and it’s 3:55 and I’m about a 15-20 minute drive away and I’m like, doesn’t look like I’m going to make it. As my car is in literally a hundred different pieces spread all over the garage and I’m up to my elbows like in grease and I never figured out how to be a there’s a like professional mechanics. They’re really good at keeping their hands clean and they’re uniform clean and all this. Not me man. I had just grease everywhere. So I scrubbed up real quick and I was like man I got to get to work and I was a valet parker of all things at this 4-star hotel. So I put on my little red vest and my bow tie and I’m like, alright. What do I have to work with? Okay, I could. There’s no Uber. There’s no like, oh just check online for the bus schedules. You know, you had to actually have a physical schedule to figure out where the bus was. So like I had no clue of any of this. So I was like, what can I do? Well,I got two legs. I can start walking. So I started walking to work and I was like, hey there depending on me to be there. What’s the one thing I can do is I can start walking and I said, well I can get there faster if I actually hitchhiked. Now, that’s something that most you guys sound way too young to know what that is, but hitchhiking was something where you would stick your thumb out and in the 70s when I grew up. You know, that was the thing. Hey man that was that was the first Uber was hitchhiking and usually and it was always free.It was like hey, Stick your thumb out and get a ride. Woohoo. So I was like, alright. Well harking back to those days, so stuck my thumb out to hitchhike and I got all kinds of reactions. I mean you I had people honking their horn screaming things. I had people telling me I was number one, but with the other finger. If you know what I mean, and I’m just like wow, I didn’t expect any of this stuff and lo and behold I got my peripheral peripheral vision this trash truck kind of just pulls up. Alongside of me and I was like kind of shocked like whoa, and the guy looks at me and goes what are you doing? And I was like man, I’m just trying to get to work and I think there was this blue-collar connection of like he understood like hey man here somebody like me that just wants to put an honest day’s work for honest pay and he’s like getting kid and I was like, alright. So I jumped in the trash truck. Now for those that have seen trash trucks, they’re not really designed for two people. So there wasn’t really a seat. So I was kind of hovering over the battery and that was an interesting experience. And so were driving. And were making our way through traffic to get through town and we get to the corner where the hotel is at and the hotel is kind of inset a little bit on the corner and the driver, you know, trying to be sensitive to the situation is like hey, do you just want to get out here, you know, and I was like no way man. I was like, let’s pull right up to the front. So he pulls drives around the corner comes in and pulls right up it’s all you know, nice lights. It’s a 4-star nice hotel. Under the port cache with all the stuff. And he pulls right in. And everyone was looking around like what the heck is the trash truck doing in the front of the hotel? It’s supposed to be in the back of the hotel. And I jump out and thanks man. And he gives me a high five. And he rolls off and everybody’s like, Evan, what are you doing? I was like I had to get to work man. I had to do it. And so I always share that journey of like, you know what it’s all about saying, hey instead of trying to blame something else. Well I could call in sick. My car is broken down, I can’t make it to work. I was like, you know what I need to take full responsibility here. What can I do? Hey, I got two legs that work. Hey, I can start walking. Hey I can start hitch-hiking. And lo behold a trash truck picks me up and it really is a tale of that mentality of saying hey, I’m responsible and I can take action and I can make something happen. And even though you don’t know how it’s going to work out when you start taking action when you take that responsibility, I believe God will bring things along to help you in your journey if you’re committed, but if you’re just gonna I didn’t sit home in my apartment waiting for the trash truck to pull up. I actually had to get out on the street, start walking and stick my thumb out whatever and I just again share that with people all the time, but just saying what do you have to work with? What can you do instead of against this is a perfect analogy for the time we’re in and I don’t know again how backed up you guys are on shows and when this is going to air. But right now, we’re kind of in this Covid quandary of the plan demic of people going, you know, when’s going to get back to normal? What’s going to happen? What are we going to do? And so I share with people all the time, what do you have to work with?
What can I do? And you two amazing sisters are a perfect example. Hey, we got technology. Hey, we got Squadcast. Hey, we can do a podcast. Hey, we can put some great content. So it’s all about saying what do I have to work with instead of complaining about what’s around me? That’s that’s all there is. It’s like I hear people all the time want to complain about the weather and complain about traffic and your guys’ story that you share with me is perfect. Yeah, you can complain about an hour-and-a-half commute. One-way. 3 hours total or I can say gosh. What can we do with this drive time? Gosh. People experience the same thing. Hey, let’s do a podcast. What do we have to work with? So the trash truck story is a perfect journey full circle of all of that.
TARANJIT: That’s such a great way to start this episode. It gives such a great message to others who are in similar situations. Just hearing when you talked about getting in the trash truck and hitchhiking. I feel like in today’s time people are more skeptical of hitchhiking because I guess they’re less trusting of other people. So I don’t know how well that would work today.
EVAN: No. It would be interesting. I mean if I saw a guy in a work uniform on the side of the road hitchhiking, I mean I would be the first person to stop. And obviously, I’d look and say is this dude on drugs. What’s going on what’s happening? But you know if there’s someone who’s really trying to make it happen, whether it be hitchhiking whether it be for example, I’ll get someone who has multiple companies with different divisions and I have a field finance division or I have a startup division where we do startup funding for companies. And I get all kinds of proposals. And I get the slick polished ones and I get the ones that are spelled wrong and are clueless. And I’ll kind of look at it and I’ll talk to people and if I can sense that somebody has a heart for it. That they really want it. I’m more interested in that than I’m interested in the slick proposal and so then going back to today’s world. So yeah, if there’s a dude hitchhiking, you know, and I pull up and I see that he’s clean-cut. He’s just trying to get somewhere and make it happen. I’ll be the first one to pick him up. That’s for sure.
TARANJIT: I feel like I would I guess because were also girls and like there’s also that I guess difference when you’re like more skeptical because you’re just worried. I don’t know maybe it’s just the way we are raised. I feel like I am always thinking like what if it’s that one wrong person that gets in the car.
EVAN: Well we can look at it, you know, like if you’re picking up the mom, you know with the with the baby right trying to get somewhere. You know again there’s a little common sense as far as that, but to me, it’s all about the intention. Right? Like who’s who’s this person? Are they you know, are they tryna pull something on me, or is it just legitimate, like hey, I can give this person a helping hand give him a ride somewhere. But that also is not against specifically but also like hey, you know, what? What’s what’s the intention that people are coming at me with for example driving, right? It’s like you could tell the intention of people by the way that they drive. Like is this guy just cutting me off to cut me off or does this guy really need to get somewhere? Right? And it’s like, yeah okay, I’ll let you in. I’ll let you in. So to me it’s like looking at those people and saying hey, I’m not going to judge by the outside. I kind of want to see this person’s heart and their character and it’s like hey, is this someone that I’m willing to help versus just looking at the circumstances and then turning away, but that would be a whole another I think lifelong discussion that is far as doing that. So no, you guys no guilt trip. You guys don’t have to pick up any hitchhikers if you don’t want to. But I’m sure there’s plenty of people that you can help out in different ways.
TARANJIT: So when you were working on your cars, did you expect to not finish in time for work, when you opened up your car?
EVAN: Oh, yeah, that was always that was the the trend. It was always that I would finish up just in time to get to work. Adn This was the day where it didn’t happen. And so I was like, ok. Normally I’m always was always able to pull it off and this time was the first time I was face-to-face with. Oh, wow. I couldn’t get the car fixed up. What do I do now? So yeah, that was that was the first time for that.
TARANJIT: Did you actually learn a I guess car mechanical skill while you were working on your car through the journey or it never really became…
EVAN: Oh yeah. But it was all forced. It was never enjoyment. It was just tedious and now I am so blessed to where I welcome someone else turning the wrench and someone else working on my car. And it was so exciting for me. With Covid it was kind of interesting. We had one of our cars needed new tires. And it was like, yeah. We are not driving that much. We can do it later. Finally go outside and the tires flat and it’s like, well time to get new tires. And so I was dreading, oh man, I have to go to the tire place, I can sit there or I have to get an Uber back. So I went online and lo and behold they had this mobile service where I could get Goodyear has this like giant van where they come to your house with a machine they have the machines in the van to balance the tires to pick the tire on and off the rim. And so I had the full service done at my house. It was so exciting. This kid pulls up, got the wheels off, switches everything out. I just took a walk from the dog and came back and I had brand new tires. And I was like, hey, I’m liking this. This is this the benefit of Covid. Yeah, bring the service to me. This is cool.
TARANJIT: Yeah. That only works if you don’t live with a small towns because I tried to use that service and they don’t go here so.
EVAN: Yeah. We are kind of remote where we are at. So I was surprise surprised they would come out. But they came. So I was like, woohoo.
TARANJIT: That’s the perfect case scenario. What other stories do you have for us? I can’t wait to hear them all.
EVAN: Ah Yes. Well, I’ll give you one other one that I think you guys might enjoy and that is taking back to my crazy driving days and looking back. Like what was my mindset then kind of what was I thinking but I remember there was a time when I I went to a lot of my friends went to prestigious universities probably like you two girls did and I chose to go to Surf Bum University. People are like, oh. What school is that? I’m like, oh no, it’s not school. it’s just I went surfing while all my friends were in school. So I was I was yeah I was in Surf Bum University just surfing and hanging out and working and I got a tip on a hot surf spot in Mexico. So in Los Angeles you could get to the border of Mexico in about 2 and 1/2ish hours depending on traffic and right there in San Diego to Baja, California. And there was some great surfing spots all along Baja, California. So I got word on this hot surf spot. And again, this is going into Mexico in a foreign country. This is no passport. You didn’t have any of that stuff. You just showed your driver’s license at the border and they just let you through. In fact…
TARANJIT: What?
EVAN: Oh yeah. This was back when you could cross whatever. No problem. To get in to get a lot of the times to get into Mexico, they would even they wouldn’t even it was just free flow traffic. You can just drive right in; they’ll just wave you through. It was not stopping. Who are you? Just zoop right in. On the way on the way on the way back in and then it’s a little longer and all that stuff. But here’s my directions for this awesome surfs okay. They go. Where is it? They go, okay well, you want to go past Ensenada a little ways and then there’ll be a ditch and Tecatesign, and turn right there. And I was like, okay, I didn’t ask a question. There’s no Maps or there’s no phone maps on an iPhone. There’s no cell phones. All I had to go on was there’s a ditch and a Tecate sign and a little bit past Ensenada. So we got my buddies truck, rolled down to Mexico and we lost track of time. And so now it’s at night. We’re at night time. It is pitch dark. Okay. So there’s you know, you guys obviously in a populated area, you know, D.C. There’s always lights and always stuff, but this is Mexico dark. Pitch dark. And we’re just kind of driving not knowing what the heck is going on. And all of a sudden, we’re like look. You know, we are past Ensenada. And all of a sudden, look. There’s a Tecate sign and there is for those that have ever been to Mexico and that are there are a thousand Tecate signs every square mile. So it wasn’t it wasn’t like something that stood out. It was like that’s the only sign there was. A Tecate sign. So and there happened to be this big ditch and I’m like looks good to us. Turn right. So we turn right and the buddies that I was with, none of us spoke Spanish. And so we turn right. We’re driving down this dirt road and we find we knocked on somebody’s little hut cuz we weren’t sure were going the right way and it’s pitch dark. They don’t speak English. We don’t speak Spanish. And we’re trying to like me pictures of waves with our hands to you know describe surfing. Oh yeah. Sí. Sí. Sí. Sí. And then they just point and we just kept driving. And lo and behold, we stopped and we are kind on this like a little cliff and we can hear the water. So we are we we’re we knew that we we’re close.And that’s where we camped out. And I started thinking I was like, man. Would I what would I let my son who is now going to be 17. And I’m like would I let my son go to Mexico with directions like that? I was like, heck no. I was like man, what was I thinking and I thought about my mindset. My mindset really was of there was no alternative. It was just hey, we’re going to find this place and if you hearken back, I’m a big believer. I’m a big person of faith. I’m not religious at all, but I’m a big person of faith. And if you look back in the ancient Greek scriptures, there is great story great stories. A lot of times when Jesus is talking you can get confused cuz you’re like what is he talking about? And I remember what my great mentor told me one time. He said, Evan. The Bible does not mean what it says. I was like isn’t that the truth. And he says it means a lot more. I was like, oh, yeah. And so I remember in the ancient Greek scriptures. Jesus was quoted as saying, you know be perfect like myself and my father are perfect. And I was like that at the dumbest thing ever. Of course, he’s perfect. He’s Jesus. What about me? Can you can you give me some help? What I realize it’s through the translations because you have to realize you have Jewish men writing in a foreign language Greek and they’re still thinking in Hebrew but writing in Greek. They’re trying to get to this audience and now we’re translating to English. it’s like man, you got all these different translations. But what the word perfect meant if you translate it correctly, it means all in. So it doesn’t mean perfect by perfection. It means all in. So are you all in or not? Are you committed or not? So for me with my marriage, I’m all in. My bride and I get remarried a different state or country every year. Ive been married 26 times. Woohoo. And that includes 26 honeymoons. Yes! So with our marriage, I’m all in. And so I start thinking about this mindset when I’m driving like okay, why the heck would I go to Mexico with these lame directions and at night but I was all-in. I was like, hey, we are going to go find this place. One way or the other. We’re going to go find this place.I’m all in. Now part of that was just you know, my prefrontal cortex wasn’t fully developed cuz in males, it doesn’t fully develop until you’re 25 and I’m in my early twenties so part of it was that but the other part was just like Hey, we’re going to make this happen. This is a real faith. And so I look now at the time when with this Covid and I look at me as a father. Look at me with with kids and responsibilities and businesses and all this stuff and it’s so easy to shrink back in fear, adn be like, oh. What about this? And what about this? And I was like, wait a minute. Am I all in or nor? You know, do I want to live in faith or do I want to live in fear? And especially when you know, you want to I think people are finally realizing it. Even like hardcore people like my bride’s parents who watch the news 24/7. They’re like I’m not watching the news anymore. You know it’s it’s just too much negative stuff. Too much craziness. I’m like hallelujah. You know so it’s like you don’t need a steady diet. Yeah you may want to be informed, but you don’t need to constantly bombard yourself with this because it’s so easy to fall into that fear mindset. Oh my God, what’s going to happen? And what if this? And what if that? Now what I have discovered about fear, is that the only way you can be in fear is if you’re thinking about the future. That’s the only way you can be afraid. Is you you you have to be thinking about the future. I was like, oh. Wow. Then the only way you can live in regret and despair and all that is to be thinking about the past. And so what the the scriptures teaches and what I’ve discovered and also other religions talk about it, too is about hey,you want to be right here right now. How can you be fully present? You know Chuck Norris one of the famous action-adventure heroes of your back in the day. He had a great saying of what it make sure that whatever you’re doing is exactly what you’re doing at that time. Which in other words is like, hey, let’s live right here right now. So instead of me thinking about all yeah. Well what’s coming for dinner and I got to get this email. I got do this. Like hey, how can I be here for Taranjit and Bhavneet and really dial into this show and really share some great stories. How can I stare at my screen and this microphone and pretend I’m talking to these two amazing women with these great ideas about a podcast and focus in on being right here right now. Because if I’m in the now, I can’t be scared. I can’t have regret and all this despair stuff. So it’s really about saying. Alright, how can I be all in and how can I focus on being right here right now, even in the mist of plan demic and Covid and all this nonsense. It’s like, okay. What can I be doing right now? And so harkening back to that ditch and Tecate sign and pitch-black Mexico. And living to tell the tale and the the worst part is after that adventure, it was the worst surf ever. So we didn’t even go. We went somewhere else to go surfing. That secret spot was it wasn’t happening when we got there. That was like, ah man. But that’s just another fun journey for you guys.
BHAVNEET: I just want to say that your directions that you got sound like every single directions that an Indian person will give us. That is exactly how they give directions. Like go straight and then, you know turn right at that tree and then, you know go straight and then make a left and then you’ll be there. Like okay.
EVAN: From another Indian culture, my son and I early on before I had kids. Early in my marriage, I considered about creating a bill for legislature to ban silverware because I was like, man. Why can’t we just eat with our hands all the time. We had a great meal with some friends that we met at church. And they just moved here from India like 4 months ago and just got here and then Covid hit and I was like, oh my gosh. And they were going to have all their family come and visit, but they couldn’t come and all this stuff. But we had a great meal at their house and my bride was like so you would normally eat this with your hands if we weren’t here.And they are like exactly. And she’s like, ah man. My son. So me and my son are full-on into the culture of just like forget the silverware. Let’s just eat with our hands. It’s so much better. So I’m with you on the directions and I’m with you on just eating with your hands. So love the Indian culture.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. We tend to eat a lot more foods with her hand. So I feel really awkward when I go to like a restaurant or something. It’s like, what are all these forks and knives for?
EVAN: I’m with ya. I’m just like huh it’s so much easier. It’s just like this is the tools that God gave us right. We don’t need any of this nonsense. So Im with you.
BHAVNEET: You have been to so many different places. This next question is out of all the places that you’ve been or like where you are in LA right now, are there any stereotypes of the drivers that are in that area?
EVAN: Yeah. I would say the it’s interesting cuz you see every stereotype here in Los Angeles because Los Angeles is so diverse. So I’ve got two stereotype stories for you. So in my ADD, I’m writing down my second story. Ok, but in LA like you can go on the freeway and you can just watch and be like, oop, yp. There’s a burnout executive. Okay, there’s the road rage. Okay got it. Yep, and then there’s the okay the person with the not putting him down, but he’s got the robe on and he’s got the incense going and he’s kind of like meditating in his car and driving with his knees, right and doing that kind of thing. You’ve got I mean every possible stereotype you have you got the frazzled Mom yelling at the kids. You’ve got it is all there on the Los Angeles freeway. So in every country every culture everything you can see in a 15 minute drive in Los Angeles. So that’s I think one unique part about this town. You can get it get it all on the 405 freeway in about 15 minutes and just see everyone and then as far as you know, stereotypicals and all that stuff, I’ll share another Mexico journey. So as myself and my bride and I we kind of grew up and you know going to Tijuana. Going to Baja California. That’s really the only Mexico that we were exposed to and that part of Mexico is just dirt. It is just dirt. Desert. And I remember going early on early adopter going surfing to Cabo San Lucas before it was developed before they hadd golf courses. Before they brought in all these nice resorts. And that too is just dirt. Dessert. Just bad. So we took our kids a couple years back. Maybe three or four years ago. We took them to the other side of Mexico to a place called Playa Del Carmen and it was recommended by a friend. So we’re like, okay, we’ll go. And we were totally ignorant. We had no clue and so we’re prepping our kids for the Mexico that we knew. Okay, so as I was driving especially like hey, you know that since my son is in the car. I was like I told my son there was just going to be all these crazy junky cars and just full of rust. Just tell him about all the different stuff. So we get to Playa del Carmen and we’re driving. And it was the total opposite experience I’ve ever had. It was lush. It was green. There were rainforests and every car on the road was nice. And my son is looking at me like, Dad, where’s all the junky cars. Where is this Mexico that you keep telling us about? And I’m like, I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything like this. And so we had this kind of Great Awakening of like, you know, there’s a lot more lot more Mexico that I haven’t seen than I have seen. And so it was just this Great Awakening. So like whoa, wait a minute. There’s a whole different side and a whole different, you know, paved roads everywhere we went. And I was like wow what a concept. So that was a big learning experience for me of like, hey you-know-what. There’s multiple sides to a lot of these different cultures. So Mexico was that Playa Del Carmen that stretch of Mexico is spectacular.
TARANJIT: I guess when you if you think of like the U.S. as a whole, too. If you go to a different part, you see a different type of experience. Like roads and stuff. So it translates to Mexico, too. But I guess you’re expecting to see what you already saw and then you went to different part and you’re like woah.
EVAN: Yeah, it was eye-opening for sure. And then talk about the different parts of the U.S. Like for you guys is it’s middle of summer sticky Maryland. I’ll just share from an LA perspective. So whenever our family encounters humidity because there’s no humidity here on the West Coast. When we encounter humidity, that means we’re on vacation. Again for people to live in that climate is just like all the people come to LA and then there like, oh man. It’s so nice here. I can breathe. And we are like, oh man, no. I want to go back to where it is humid. This is so nice. So the role reversal there’s fun.
TARANJIT: Well you can have all the humidity you want.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Like we went to Arizona and like it’s a hundred degrees. And I am like, it’s so nice.
EVAN: This is great. Check out my hair. It’s doing great things.
TARANJIT: Now that we’ve heard some of your crazy stories, let’s go into what type of driver you are. When given the option would you rather choose to be the driver or the passenger?
EVAN: Well full disclosure. I’m still overcoming motion sickness. So at this stage in life I much prefer now to be driven and having a tour guide. I love that. However, the motion sickness forces me to be the driver because like I don’t want to throw up on your car. So I’m going to have to drive. But at this stage I much prefer having being driven because then I can focus my energy on other places. I can focus on my thinking. I can focus it on my bride and my kids and not having to worry about driving and those kind of things. So I released control in that area and I’m getting better. In certain vehicles and certain things. I can really just kind of let go and be like it’s so nice just to be like okay after about getting up but it’s interesting. I remember in my before they actually before the when the kids were pretty young when so my bride and I just to give the listeners taste. We have been living the home office homeschool lifestyle for the last 15 years. So when Covid hit, everyone’s freaking out, Oh my gosh. I got to stay home. Oh my gosh. I have to homeschool my kids. But I get it’s a big shift but we’ve been living this lifestyle 15 years. Nothing. Nothing changed for us. The only thing was that we couldn’t go to Disneyland and go to some other cool fun spots, but our lifestyle didn’t change. This is how we live. Home school. Home office. This is how we roll.
TARANJIT: So you’re doing great.
EVAN: Yeah. Yeah. So I remember I remember when we finally like again about 15 years ago we went all in. You know what I’m done with getting fancy offices. I’m just going to be at home. And after being at home for a year little bit. And all of a sudden I started getting on the freeway and started driving and girls I have to tell you I was like, wow. I lost my edge. Like you guys , you know probably with your commutes so you already understand like okay. I need to be at this Lane at this time. I need to be over here. This is this moves faster here at this time. Oh I can cheat this little part here. I had every inch of the 405 memorized. At what time where to be you know where to put your I was it’s interesting, too that the junkier cars that I had I discovered that more people made way for me. So if I were to just take this without signaling just turn, people would get out of my way because they saw this junky car and they’re probably like, oh this guy doesn’t have any insurance. I better get out of the way. As my bride and I changed our mindsets and our actions and our attitudes and we started creating more wealth. I started getting nicer cars. And all of a sudden it was like, oh wait a minute. Now I’m looking out for those people with junky cars and I’m the one driving carefully. And I was like, oh wait. Wait. Wait. So I remember the time on the freeway, I looked at my bride, and I was like, I lost my edge. You know I have to look three times now. Where before I just like *sounds.* Now it’s like, oh wait. Can i get over? Oh wait. And I’m just like, you know what. So it was a very interesting shift to go from that I would say aggressive just hey, if everybodys in my way mentality to like, you know what there’s more people on the road than me and you know a little caution works a little bit. And so I’ve definitely shifted my driving mentality for sure.
TARANJIT: I would say that people who have nice cars I feel like you would want to be more careful with it because it’s more expensive and then if you have like a junk car, you’re like, oh whatever. If something happens, it’s okay.
EVAN: Exactly.
BHAVNEET: But but here it seems to be that no matter what vehicle you have you have to watch out because they’re going to drive like crazy maniacs.
EVAN: Oh yeah. I have seen it both sides. And again in LA, we we kind of get it all. But Im really appreciating the newest car that we got has kind of a self-driving like semi self-driving I guess. Like you can set it on the freeway and it’ll steer for you and break for you and do all that. And so I’m fascinated to see that ramp up because the concept of the car doing the driving for you. That’s like this is pretty cool.
BHAVNEET: It’s pretty cool, but like at the same time, I’m kind of weary of that. And plus I love driving. So it’s like, no. I’ll drive.
EVAN: Gotcha. Gotcha. I have and I discovered this about myself and kind of seen both sides and work through it. Still again growing through this but big time for me is that destination disease of wanting to get there. Of like, okay. We’ll have fun as soon as we get there. So let’s hurry up and get there. And the whole liking driving and joy of driving In a car guy. I have a lot of full-size Hot Wheels, you know my car collection that I like to cruise around but you know, there’s something to me about driving where when I get when I am driving and the lights are all green, I’m loving it. But when I get a red light or yellow light and I have to stop and I feel like I’m being controlled. It’s like ,ah man. God. Ah. Yeah so it’s interesting as far as loving to drive in that the journey versus the destination. So I’m definitely growing in that area to be like hey, you know, what? If I do have to stop at this red light. I can look around and appreciate some of this nice stuff and do this and do this instead of getting miff that the light is controlling me and impeding my progress. So I’m I’m still wrestling with that destination disease in the driving side. But yeah it but for me again, it’s much more I much more enjoy the drive when there’s no stop signs and all green lights.
TARANJIT: I’ve recently seen people ever since we’ve come out of a lockdown, that no one really listens to the red light anymore. I’ve seen a bunch of cars just go right through it.
EVAN: Yeah. I have seen that, too. Where a lot of people are just like, *sounds.*. Its like, phew. Wow. Okay. That’s one way to do it. But I get it because it’s that hey we’re being controlled and I was on another podcast earlier today where this concept of I think more people wouldn’t be so opposed to the masks if there was some kind of voting process. Or hey, are we going to vote for masks or no masks. But rather than having a dictated to us. So I can see that translating on the road of like what you can make me wear a mask with can’t make me stop at the red light. So I can see a lot of that frustration boiling over. So again more reason to look twice.
BHAVNEET: Yeah. Exactly. So you kind of mentioned a little bit about this. But how would you describe the type of driver that you are and would you say that your family and friends would describe your driving in the same way?
EVAN: That’s a good question. Tell you what the role that I enjoy the most is there’s two types of people. There’s the you know, the travel agent or the tour guide.And so a travel agent is someone who sends people to places that they’ve never been. Like, oh. You’ll love it. Whereas, a tour guide is someone who’s actually been through it. Knows the terrain. Knows the the people. Knows the journey and like hey, I’ve been down this road 500 times. Let me show you what I love about it. So this is an indirect answer to a question. But I I love playing the tour guide. So I love driving people around and showing them the most beautiful places in the city where we live. I love saying, I’ve really enjoyed this, excuse me, you’re going to love this, too. And understanding that hey you know that I may need to slow down a little bit so they can enjoy the process instead of hurrying up getting to one spot to the other or being sensitive to like what I think is really beautiful. They may think something else is really beautiful. And letting them enjoy that part of it. So for me, there’s that tour guide driver of wanting to share all the blessings and all the beauty, that I’ve been exposed to and showing other people that. So that is for lack of a better term, that is the best way to describe my type of driving now is the tour guide
TARANJIT: That’s a great way to describe it. I also enjoy doing that, too. Where I like showing people and taking them places and being like like this is what I’ve experienced in like let them experience the same thing.
EVAN: There you go. I like it.
TARANJIT: Speaking of other drivers on the road. What would you say is your biggest pet peeve of driving?
EVAN: Oh. Just what I have talked about earlier. The I’ve learned through actually the enneagram. which has different iterations and different interpretations. And people can get really weird with it. But just at the at its basic level there are really good lessons about self-growth and self-love in there.When I learn from studying the enneagram is that one of my triggers. I used to think I was a control person. I used to think like I have to have control and I was like, you know, there are times that I don’t really want control. And I realized that one of my triggers is when I feel like I get triggered when I feel like someone or something is controlling me. So that’s why I get frustrated when I get in when the light turns yellow and red for me. And I cuz I feel like I’m being controlled. Like hey, I’m wanting to go here and the lights turning red yellow. So now I have to stop. So I’m I feel controlled. So that’s one of my pet peeves of like hey, you know, there’s different movies where they’ve done it a bunch of times, but I would love to have that button to make all the lights go, you know, lets make all the lights green and let’s go. It’s like woohoo. So my biggest pet peeve is that yellow and red light stopping me from where I want to go because again, it gives me that trigger of I’m being controlled rather than I’m in control cuz I’m driving and I’ve got the wheel right? So I’m all about the gas pedal and not a big fan of the brake pedal.
BHAVNEET: So would you say that you’ve ever experienced road rage?
EVAN: Oh yeah. Definitely. Definitely. I think going back to really those were you know wherever there’s anger, I’ve discovered there’s fear. That’s the real trigger. Anybody’s angry, that means there’s fear. And so when I hearken back to my road rage and my anger it all really for me stems back to all these old father son issues that I never wanted to deal with. And I do a whole talk on ROF. So you guys as smart young ladies living in the D.C. Metro area and all that is you are familiar with ROI. Return on investment. But I do a whole talk and series on ROF which is return on forgiveness and magically it just so happened the year, I finally decided to forgive my dad after not talking to him for close to 15 years. I ended up tripling my income and it’s no accident. Because I was finally able to you know, get this anchor of unforgiveness off my back. Was able to finally open my eyes to new opportunities and be able to move faster and get the places. So when I finally again chose return on forgiveness instantly my anger dissipated in so many different areas. Road rage went away in so many areas cuz it was like, oh that’s where it’s you know kind of leaking out to. But the real issue was me just again coming face-to-face with me want to hold on to the resentment because all my dad did me wrong and this and this and finally just forgiven him and haven’t had road rage since.
TARANJIT: Well that’s awesome. I don’t know if it’s just Maryland area or if it’s like other areas too. But I feel like I see that way more often even if like the person did something wrong themselves. They still get mad at the other driver.
EVAN: Of course, of course. Cuz that’s the default right. It’s I want to blame. I want to make it about somebody else. It can’t be my fault right? It’s always somebody else’s cuz it’s just so much easier to blame that is it to take responsibility. So going back to my trash extra right? I could kick my car and blame and be like, oh if it wasn’t for this piece of junk car. And it was like, well no. The responsibilities on me. I bought the piece of junk car. I know it’s a piece of junk. I know it’s not reliable. So it’s but yeah, it’s just so much easier to blame someone else or something else than to take that full responsibility.
TARANJIT: Well know that we know what kind of driver you are. Let’s go back to how it all started. How would you describe your first time driving experience? And who was it with?
EVAN: First time driving was I remember my mom teaching me how to drive and that was very interesting. She was definitely a defensive driver. So I remembered that it’s it was so long ago. I remember one thing I do. I just whenever we where I learned to drive was a very rural area and there weren’t any real street lights around. So I remember telling her I enjoy driving at night because the lights I can see the lights in the car. So it would be much easier to know if okay. Can I turn right or turn left to do and all that and somehow I learned to drive on a stick which I’m teaching my son know how to drive a stick. But I think it’s much easier to learn to drive first and then learn how to drive on stick. But I am like, man how did I learn how to drive, and drive a stick at the same time. But I remember those times with my mom teaching me how to drive and just like wow. Okay, she’s survived. All right.
TARANJIT: You said you enjoyed driving at night. I feel like driving at night takes more effort and is way more difficult than driving in the daylight.
EVAN: Yeah. Well, it just depends. So where we live now again it is very rural. Very open. So at nighttime, you know when the lights you see the headlights, you know, somethings coming. But yeah, it’s to each its own. But yeah when it’s big bright city super bright at night then it can be a little different. But in the rural side, I love just being able to know like okay, I see the light coming. Okay. I got it. But yeah. That’s just me.
TARANJIT: Yeah well, we live in a small town. So and I’ve had numerous accidents with deer. So I feel like I just get scared in the nighttime like a deer is going to pop at any second now.
BHAVNEET: She’s a deer magnet.
EVAN: A deer magnet. Yes. Yes. That’s the other West Coast thing like we see a deer and we get real excited. Aw it’s a deer. Oh my gosh. Aww. You guys out there. It’s like man there is too many of these things. Get rid of them. So.
BHAVNEET: That’s really interesting. I didn’t think anyone would ever be happy to see deer.
EVAN: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Out here it’s the biggest thing. It’s like aww. We saw a deer. I remember we went to Colorado Springs and we were taking a little hike and there were a couple deers in the woods. My bride and I were getting all excited. Oh my God. We saw a deer. And it saw us. Aww. But you guys are just like they’re rodents. Get rid of them. Come on. Stay away.
TARANJIT: Until they hit your car and then you’re like not so cute anymore.
EVAN: Exactly. Exactly.
BHAVNEET: How would you describe your driving test experience. Were you able to get your license on the first go?
EVAN: Ah. You’re harkening way back. Geez. I did. I really I really don’t remember my driving test. I really don’t. That was kind of all a blur back then. Yeah, I know for some people that’s kind of a big big to do I will share one fun story. Since I don’t have one there. I’ll chat on my bride here. So my bride’s dad got her on her 13th birthday. She was 13 or 14 and bought her a motorcycle. And the idea was when they went up to their cabin. They lived here in Los Angeles as well. When they go up to their cabin, he could she could drive her brother around and that way her parents could just relax instead of oh drive me over to the pool. Drive me over here. Drive me over there. So she’s 14. Buys her this motorcycle and it’s an Enduro motorcycle. That means it’s like an off-road bike, but you can drive it on the street. So it’s kind of got like the knobby tires and looks it a little like an off-road bike. So he’s trying to show her the clutch and do all the stuff. So in this big parking lot, he shows her little bit and then stands back. And like this is her first time on a motorcycle. So she sits down. She pops the clutch, the bike does a wheelie, flips over and crashes on the side and breaks the the the taillight, the mirror and *crash noises.*
BHAVNEET: Oh my God.
EVAN: And her dad walks over and goes, get in the car. Lessons done. That was like her first motorcycle lesson, and then he took her up to the cabin that weekend and took her up to the cul-de-sac and he said, don’t come home until you figure it out.
TARANJIT: What?
EVAN: So that was her motorcycle lesson. So we tell the kids those stories all the time. But no sadly I do not have a great driving lesson story for you. So I will give you my Bride’s motorcycle one and for anybody that’s a fan of Rio the movie,the animated cartoon. There’s a great scene and there where one of those the heroes of the film was it was hilarious cuz the tourist came in he was the real local native guy and she’s like, Tulio, do know how to ride a motorcycle? He’s like, oh you insult me. Of course I know how to ride a motorcycle, and he did the same thing my bride. Did a wheelie and crashed it. And then she grabbed it and took over. It was hilarious. So a little fun ADD moment there for you.
TARANJIT: Did she ever get back on and learn to drive the motorcycle?
EVAN: Oh yeah. She learned how to ride the motorcycle. She got it. She dialed in. And she made it happen.
TARANJIT: So you did mention that your son is around driving age. How was teaching him to drive?
EVAN: Ah. I did this purposely. I wanted to make it a slow roll. So I started teaching him to drive when he was fourteen. We would just go around the block, take it real slow rather than, okay. You’re 16. Let’s start driving. I couldn’t handle that. So since hes been 14, we’ve just been driving around the block. Driving the different cars. Feeling okay. How does my Brides car feel? How does this car feel? Of course, he likes all my sports car. So he wants to drive my stuff. And so yeah. So for the last three years, we’ve just been driving around driving around and then once he finally understood we told him this from the beginning was like Hey, we’re not going to buy you a car. You have to buy your own car. You’re welcome to use our cars, but you have to pay for your insurance. So once he finally like awoken to how much that costs and what that’s going to require. He kind of got disenfranchised on driving. Like, oh well I can’t afford it. So forget it. I’m like, okay, that’s fine. I remember when I got one of my newest cars and there’s a whole ROF story about that that I would love to be able to share with you now, but don’t have the time to do it proper justice. But it was a ROF return on forgiveness journey and my return for forgiving someone that I’ve been holding a grudge on for about 10 years was that person less than 8 hours after I chose to forgive them not to their face, but just to myself internally of like, okay, I’m done being mad at this person. Less than 8 hours after I chose to forgive that person, they texted me out of the blue. I hadn’t heard from him for years and they said hey, I’ve got a car for you and it’s this beautiful Hot Wheels flame like $30,000 paint job amazing custom Mustang. You know has the big roar. Roar roar roar. Its got the beautiful paint job on it. And so I showed my son. Like check out what I’m getting and he was like, oh cool. But that was about it and it was still surreal to me because this guy was so flaky in the past. I didn’t believe it was going to happen until the car actually showed up off the truck and I pulled it up off the truck. Started it up. And within 30 seconds, my son comes bolting out of the house. Looking at this cool Mustang and he goes, I’m ready to get my permit now dad. That was a fun car journey for him. Now with Covid, what’s been fascinating is he hasn’t been able to get his permit because the DMV’s shut down. So he’s kind of in this quandary and, you know, every 15 1/2 year old to 16 17 year olds kind of stuck. If you think about it, right? They can’t get a permit. They cant get a license. They can’t get anything. They are kind of in this no man’s land. So he’s having a bit of a rough time cuz he did the safety course and did all this stuff and he’s ready to go do it and there’s no DMV. It’s like, what.
TARANJIT: Well now that he’s motivated to do, it’s like well, you have to wait.
EVAN: Yup.
TARANJIT: Yeah our brother is 18 now. He recently took his test last year and our state has gotten rid of the parallel parking. So it’s gotten so easy. it’s literally just drive on the road and forward park or and reverse park. No parallel parking anymore. So I feel like everyone can just get their license.
EVAN: Wow. I’ve never heard of that. I mean my buddy’s showed me this cool Tesla where, a bunch of other cars have it, too. Where you push the button and the car parks for you. So it’s like okay. Who needs to know how to parallel park when you can just push the button.
TARANJIT: Yeah. I don’t think I would trust the button. But speaking of parallel parking, do you think that’s something that should be required on a test or it’s fine that they’re getting rid of it?
EVAN: Well for someone living in Los Angeles and the beach cities, it’s well, you know, I can see it both ways, but selfishly it helps because there’s more parking now because people can’t parallel park. It’s like, I’m not going to park there. It’s like, oh cool I can park there. So yeah, it’s one of those if you can’t park, too bad for you. So no, I don’t I don’t see it as being a big deal not putting on the test. It’s just more spaces for those who know how to do it.
BHAVNEET: We have a bonus question for you know.
EVAN: Woohoo.
BHAVNEET: We like to end on this note. If you could make one new driving law, what would it be?
EVAN: One new driving law. Wow. You know what the first thing that pops in my head as a free enterpriser and someone who is all about less governments instead of more government is I would want to make less laws. I would want to yeah, I want to make it as much freedom as possible. So I would be looking to take laws away. But the one thing I would change though, I will tell you this. This is the other thing that came up for me is I would make it where whether it’s drunk driving whether it’s driving while you’re on marijuana or whatever. Any kind of substance, you know, something like that where it’s an automatic. Hey, you’re not driving for 5 Years and we’re talking like a $50,000 fine. Something astronomical. I would again 10x those fines those time periods because obviously people are incapable of taking responsibility in those areas. And so especially in today’s world where it’s like, hey look. You got Uber now. You can take the bus. You can do this. You can do that. Yeah. There’s no room for driving intoxicated. So I think those fines need to be tenfold the penalty needs to be tenfold. So that would be it for me.
TARANJIT: Oh I agree with that. It would make it I guess people would be more likely to not do it again if they had to pay so much and had to go through so much amount of time before they can actually go back to driving again.
EVAN: Exactly. Or we could even do a thing where you know, you got it instead of community service. You got to you got to work for 3 months or 6 months at the DMV and it’s like, oh. No. Don’t make me do that. Right. Something like that where it’s like, oh my gosh. I can’t handle that.
TARANJIT: Yeah, that would be the perfect punishment.
EVAN: That would be justice right there. We can end on that high note. Love that.
TARANJIT: Do you have any final thoughts or any tips you would like to give other drivers?
EVAN: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So other than our great law change there, I would just let any driver know that in whether it’s driving your car, driving your life, driving your relationships, driving your parenting is that in order for things to improve you need to improve. In order for things to change, you need to change. In order for things to get better, you need to get better. And for me personally, I could tell you about my big beautiful house and how awesome it is. But I just want to talk about the biggest room in my house right now. So the biggest room in my house, Taranjit and Bhavneet, is the room for improvement. And so as long as that is always the biggest room in your house that I think is on a path to great success. So understanding that, hey. It’s not about all these outside things. It’s about, hey. In order for things to change, I got to change. It’s a never-ending journey of improvement
TARANJIT: That’s a great message to leave our listeners with.Where can listeners find you if they want to reach out to you or connect with you?
EVAN: Sure. So I’ve got two things. First one ou can enjoy it is for my bride and I if if you’re into weddings, you can see all 26 of our weddings at EvanloveSusan.com. And if you scroll through all the weddings we’ll even at the at the bottom of the website we even have a place where you will give you a free hard copy, not a digital copy, but if you live in the lower 48 states we’ll give you a hard free hard copy of our book called Happily Ever After. All we ask is that you cover a lattes worth of postage. But we’ll give you a free hardcover copy of that book on EvanlovesSusan.com. And you can see 26 weddings. And so that’s one of our favorites and then if you just want to get into like, oh business and all this cool stuff that you do, then you can check out EvanMoney.com.
BHAVNEET: Well thank you so much for coming on. We love listening to your stories. And you had a lot of great messages.
EVAN: Ladies. What a pleasure. Didn’t know I was getting two for the price of one. This was fun.
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TARANJIT: Would you ever hitchhike? Hearing his story like I understand back, you know, not too long ago.
BHAVNEET: Back in the day.
TARANJIT: Back in the day. Like he’s so old. Hitchhiking was a common thing I feel like. But like would you ever do it if you had to?
BHAVNEET: I don’t know if I feel I don’t know if I would feel comfortable doing it. When you see hitchhikers nowadays, how many people are actually like, Oh, yeah.
TARANJIT: I don’t know if it’s based on the area, too. Because where we live, I feel like there’s our area is known to have not like where we directly where we live. But in the neighboring city has drug addicts. So it’s just I always look at the people and I’m like, uh.
BHAVNEET: I don’t know
TARANJIT: But like as he was saying. He uses his judgment to determine whether he should give this person a ride. Like are they dressed up.
BHAVNEET: But like if that is how he had gotten that ride, you know.
TARANJIT: Exactly. But I also feel like people were more trusting back then as we are as opposed to now. I feel like people are more likely to say yes.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: But of all things a trash truck stopped to help him.
BHAVNEET: How convenient.
TARANJIT: I know. Which I mean, I guess it’s cool in a way. He seemed like he really enjoy it. And he was like, nah man. pull up in front of the hotel. Show everyone.
BHAVNEET: Even the trash truck guy was like, do you want me to stop back here?
TARANJIT: No. Let me…
BHAVNEET: Ride in style.
TARANJIT: Riding in style like he is coming in a limo or something, but his ride is this trash truck. And people are like, what is a trash truck doing in the front of the building? That’s hilarious. And then when he was talking about how the directions he got in Mexico. I was like as he was explaining this…
BHAVNEET: The only thing I could think about.
TARANJIT: As he was explaining how he got these directions, all I can picture was how our parents and our uncles and aunts how they give directions.
BHAVNEET: It’s like very…
TARANJIT: I’m like this is exactly the directions we ge/
BHAVNEET: Its a very desi thing to do. It’s like oh, yeah, you see that? Okay, keep going. Then you’ll see this tree. Then make a right. And then, you know, keep going until you see this sign or this like stump in the road.
TARANJIT: Whenever we would go on vacation and stuff, especially when we went up to New York.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: And we didn’t really use GPSs back then. It was before like we started getting a car GPS and then the phone started having GPS. So it was just like while we when we got to their neck of the woods.
BHAVNEET: We’re in your area.
TARANJIT: And then they’re like, where are you? And then you say the road name and they are like uh huh. And then you’re like, there is this building here. And they are like, oh yeah.
BHAVNEET: Oh yeah. Yeah. Keep going straight and you’ll eventually make it. And like one time we went to Canada. They’re like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Keep going here. And they they are like, how did you end up on the trucking road?
TARANJIT: Yeah.
BHAVNEET: I don’t know. You you I don’t know. And they are like, okay. You’re here. You see this thing. Make a left.
TARANJIT: No. No. No. That time. They were like, oh keep going. And then they are like, how did you end up there? You guys told us to keep going.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
TARANJIT: So we kept going.
BHAVNEET: We should have just GPSed at that point.
TARANJIT: The problem with that is because we had to use the we didn’t have enough data to use our phone GPS. We had to use the Garmin in our car and that doesn’t really avoid tolls as easily as Google Maps does. So it was just like we don’t want to end up on the toll rude. I was going to say route and road. So just rude.
BHAVNEET: Toll route.
TARANJIT: On the toll rude.
BHAVNEET: Rude?
TARANJIT: That’s what I said.
BHAVNEET: The rude toll. How dare you?
TARANJIT: Okay. I was trying to say maybe I was going to say toll route and then toll road. So toll rude.
BHAVNEET: So I’m rude.
TARANJIT: Yeah. Pretty much. Now we got way off topic.
BHAVNEET: And it such that he ended up he didn’t even find a great surf spot. But did they end up in the surf spot that they were meant to end up in.
TARANJIT: Exactly. I think that’s what happened. The spot that they wanted to go to the they heard of ended up there. Like it wasn’t as great. But then they found another spot. The fun is in if you enjoyed it, what does it matter, right? As long as you made it back, right?
BHAVNEET: Yeah. But we hoped you enjoyed listening to Evans’ crazy driving stories. And if you or anyone, you know has any driving stories and would love to come on as a guest, you can fill out the interest form on our website at drivewithuspodcast.com.
TARANJIT: And stay tuned until the end for a sneak peek of next week’s episode where we are joined by Kate Jetmore. And she talks to us about driving in the U.S. versus driving in Spain and the trauma she got from driving a manual up a hill. Thanks for driving with us.
(outro music)
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(next week’s sneak peek)
KATE: When I think of this story. It makes me just break out into a sweat. It’s the kind of thing that you wouldn’t you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy and you just hope and pray that it will never happen to you again.