Listen to the episode
Driving Profile: Nesreen Mahmoud Ahmed
(sneak peek)
NESREEN: [00:00:00] But I remember driving,
in New York sitting in traffic, on a bridge. we really couldn’t go anywhere.
And it was back-to-back. I think there was somebody, coming from behind, trying
to get in front of me or something like that.
I just remember the guy getting out of
the car and screaming obscenities at me and getting out of the car. cause his
car was in front of me and screaming. I won’t even repeat what he said. but
just these expletives and I was just Oh my God.
Oh my God. Oh my God. I really thought
that I was in a, like, he was going to throw.
(intro music)
BHAVNEET:
Welcome back to Drive With Us, a podcast where we explore
driving cultures around the world by bringing on a new guest each episode to
talk about the crazy things, they’ve experienced on the road, who they are as
drivers and how they became the drivers they are today. I’m Bhavneet.
TARANJIT:
And I’m Taranjit. But before we get into who todays driver is we do have a little
quick car keeping.
BHAVNEET:
Yes.
TARANJIT:
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Let’s
get into today’s driver. Today’s driver is Nesreen Ahmed, a life and grief
coach whose passion for adventure and for living life on her own terms has been
present all her life. But was sparked into a full flame fire when her sister
passed away suddenly in 2013. After the experience, Nesreen became committed to
helping others plan their life after grief and fully living a life they love.
Nesreen is now married and recently became a mother to a beautiful baby girl.
Her family is based in New York City, but together they travel the world when
measuring continues to coach and pursue her passion. [00:03:00] Nesreen shares with us
about the time her cousin reversed down the highway in Cairo, she rear-ended a
truck, scratched her friend’s Volkswagen Bug, and ran into a crossdresser in
Nebraska. Let’s meet today’s driver Nesreen Ahmed.
(transition music)
BHAVNEET: [00:02:00] Welcome Nesreen. Thanks so much for joining us today.
NESREEN: Thank you for having me. I’m really excited about this.
TARANJIT: I’m super excited to
hear all your stories, especially since you’ve shared with us a little bit of a
bunch of stories. So I’m excited to hear them all. Let’s start with what
you would say is one of your most craziest driving experiences.
NESREEN: I, I have actually driven across country round trip, three
different times in my life. And, each time had its own quirks and
adventures and, different stopping points. But one of the most memorable things
that happened to me was actually in Nebraska. So I stopped late one night.
after the end of a very
long day of driving and, I’m walking into the hotel, I get checked in and they,
they kind of direct me where to go, to, to find my room. And as I’m walking
down the hallway towards my room, there’s a man a cross dresser, walking down
the hall and he gets.
Startled and I get
startled. I was just like, Oh, I’m sorry. Like, I don’t know why I apologize.
What other, I’m sorry. And he was like, no, no, no, it’s my fault. he’s like, I
don’t normally dress like this. And then he’s goes into this whole story
[00:03:00] about how this is first time. And it’s his wife’s clothes.
And he bought these
shoes online And I was standing there with my luggage, exhausted. And I had no
idea what to say. Oh, well, you know, good for you and good for you for trying
it. I was just such a, a funny and awkward experience, for both of us.
I don’t know why he
didn’t think that people would walking up and down the hall, but it was late.
It’s a small town. Maybe he thought everybody was asleep. but yeah, I just
remember having this really awkward, but also kind of nice interaction with, a
man, in his, I guess he’s probably in his late fifties cross-dressing for the
first time.
TARANJIT: That’s really interesting. And I, yeah, I can see how that
must’ve been awkward in the moment for both of you. And he’s trying to
figure things out, but then at the same time you just came into this hotel and
you’re like, whoa, I wasn’t expecting this.
NESREEN: Yeah.
TARANJIT: So at this point,
was this the start of your driving journey cross country, or was this towards
the end?
NESREEN: This was smack in the middle. So I was driving from New York. To
San Francisco. Nebraska was almost right in the middle. And that was on
[00:04:00] the second trip, my second of three, cross country trips. I
was actually driving as fast as, or trying to get there as fast as I could.
So I took four days to
get from New York to San Francisco. And then I ended up taking five days. when
I drove back at the end of the summer, from San Francisco to New York So
it was definitely like just hauling, hauling, hauling, trying to get, to the
destination. But that was probably one of the most, unusual things that
happened on that trip.
BHAVNEET: Yeah, that’s crazy. Four days to go across country. Where are
you driving by yourself?
NESREEN: yeah, it was me and my dog, my puppy dog. It was, it’s kind of a
long story, but, I was actually going back, for a couple of different reasons,
to go back to San Francisco, cause I lived there for a few years and then I
moved to New York where I had lived for many years. Then I decided to go
back to San Francisco for, about a month and a half, in the summer.
I was really
distressed, like trying to get there so I could spend as much time as I could
in San Francisco before I had to go back to New York.
On that particular trip
there weren’t, there was not a lot [00:05:00] of adventure. There was not a lot
of, sightseeing or anything like that. There was no time for any of that.
Overall it was a smooth trip. I’m very lucky I had, the other two times that
I’ve driven.
I’ve definitely taken a
lot longer, so I had a lot more adventures on those trips.
It was like 12 hours of
driving a day. It was exhausting. there was not a lot of joy and I love.
To drive. but there was not a lot of joy in that trip. It really was just like,
Oh my God, I’d get there. but the first, the very first time I drove from New
York, San Francisco, I was, I was moving there and so I took.
about two weeks, I kept
extending it, it was supposed to take a week. And then I ended up taking a
couple extra days and taking it a couple of days. And finally I got there in
like two weeks part of it was just I had never done this before. And there was
one day where I just literally just took all of these country roads and got off
the interstate altogether.
And it was so nice to like,
have that break and to see, parts of the country that I would never have seen
otherwise. So I definitely prefer being able to take my time and, really enjoy,
our beautiful country.
BHAVNEET: So
since you have driven across country, [00:06:00] and you mentioned that you’ve
lived in both San Francisco and New York, have you noticed any.
Stereotypes or like types of drivers that are prevalent in different regions or
different States.
NESREEN: for sure. I think
there’s different driving cultures, just like there’s different cultures,
right? Like San Francisco is very different from New York. I think that, New
York is much more aggressive. certainly there are aggressive drivers in San
Francisco, but for the most part, people are friendly.
People are, are,
willing to, at least when I lived there. people were willing to
like, let you in stuff like that. You know, like I remember actually one
day sitting in traffic and I actually like, I was sitting behind a pickup
truck and he had one of those big hitches on the back of the truck.
it was just like the
big round silver ball. And I actually pressed on the gas before he had started
moving. And so I hit his hitch and he just looked in the rear view mirror and I
was like, Oh my God, I’m so sorry. And he was like, okay. And he kind of waves
it off. And we just went on our way.
that would never happen
in New York. people would like, you hit my car, you know? And of course I
didn’t touch his car. It’s [00:07:00] a pickup and there’s a hitch. But
it would be a, it would be a situation in New York. And so I think definitely
there’s more aggressive, driving in New York and people are much more in a
hurry and, it’s just a lot more stress, especially in a city, once you get out
of the city itself, it’s a little bit calmer, and then like definitely other
parts of the country.
So I took a Southern
route once. coming back from San Francisco to New York. and I definitely notice
people in general, just drive slower. They react slower. So you’re sitting at
the stoplight and it takes a minute or, you know, a couple of maybe 30 seconds,
takes a little bit longer for them to push on the gas, like go.
whereas again,
in, in bigger cities, they’re like, go, go, go, go. it’s very different in the,
in the South
TARANJIT: Yeah. I feel the East
coast and like, I guess the coasts are more, go, go, go. And I. Have noticed,
we did go to Georgia once and just going through the Southern States, there’s
this vast difference in terms of how people drive how they’re not always
speeding all the time.
And we got stuck behind
a South Carolina driver once and [00:08:00] I was like, wow, they’re just
taking their time. And it doesn’t matter to them. If they’re up here where we
are in Maryland, this wouldn’t fly. People would be like weaving in and out
around you.
NESREEN: I have noticed that it’s funny. So, I noticed that when I first
moved to New York, whenever I saw Massachusetts license plates, and even
driving in the Boston area, they drive so fast. They’re constantly speeding
much, even more so than in New York. And I just I’m always amazed.
I’m like, how do you
feel safe going that fast? I definitely think that there are different, driving
styles and driving methods. And like you’re saying I know that if I, if I
drove in Massachusetts now, especially people would be like weaving in and out
and honking at me.
And I’m assuming that I
would be driving way too slow for them.
BHAVNEET: Yeah.
So that was going to be my next question. Since you are from New York, you’ve
driven there. And since there is kind of like a stereotype of Massachusetts
drivers being more aggressive, would you say that New York drivers or
Massachusetts drivers are more aggressive drivers?
NESREEN: [00:09:00] That’s a good question. I don’t know if I can
compare them because New York, I feel like people want to go fast and they
can’t. And that’s part of the aggression is that cause you have to stop at
every block In Manhattan or in Queens, you’re stopping at every block.
you can’t really go
that fast. So, so people are just trying to constantly get in front of you or
trying to make you go faster. Whereas in Massachusetts, from my experience,
there’s a lot more interstates and like expressways and stuff like that. And so
you have that opportunity to drive really fast.
in terms of
speed, I think Massachusetts more aggressive, but I think in terms of
just trying to get somewhere, even if it’s in a, confined space, I’d say
New York is more aggressive in that way.
TARANJIT: Of all the States that you have driven in, or I guess you
lived in two different States, which do you prefer to drive in?
NESREEN: Oh, gosh. Okay. This is
a really good question cause I absolutely, I love Colorado. I love California.
I love, Utah and New Mexico, driving through those States is always a pleasure
because they are so [00:10:00] beautiful. I remember looking out the rear
view mirror or the side mirror, When I was just driving down the
interstate in Utah and like seeing the mountain ranges and seeing the beauty, I
just it took my breath away, and there was one time where, okay, so I was
driving again in Utah and I was, leaving Bryce national park and, like
this two lane highway for a while.
and you’re just driving
through through nothing. And then all of a sudden, I am, I come on this, around
this bend and it’s it’s literally, like somebody has taken a curtain and just
Open the curtain to this amazing scenery in front of me, the sun was setting.
So it’s all orange and pink and beautiful.
there’s mountain ranges
and I literally started crying. I was like, Oh my God. Cause it was so
beautiful. And I, I, I will never forget that image. And I was just so taken
aback because a lot of it was just sort of rocks and formation and nothing. And
then this beautiful, amazing image that you’d see on a postcard or you should
see on a Postcard. It’s hard to say, which is my favorite, San Francisco has
all of that. Highway one going [00:11:00] down the coast of California.
It’s just, it’s so amazing. I don’t know if I can choose to be honest.
TARANJIT: Are you in the city
right now In New York?
NESREEN: no, no, actually I’m,
I’m traveling overseas right now.
TARANJIT: Okay. I was going to
ask if you were in the city, because if you’re in the city, you probably don’t
drive as often. And if that. It affected your driving in terms of like you miss
it or not,
NESREEN: I actually do drive quite a bit in New York. it’s, depending on
where I’m going, if I’m in the city or if I need to go into Manhattan, I’m not
going to drive. Especially now with COVID, I was driving more while I was there
because of, the situation. I, I just felt more comfortable not using mass transit.
And so I would drive a
lot, But driving in, in New York in general, or in Manhattan and like driving
in New York city, I should say is not a very fun experience, to be honest,
again, you’re, it’s a lot of stop and start. It’s a lot of traffic. It’s a lot
of people who are trying to get in front of you and cut you off and doing
random things and, people just walking [00:12:00] around and then the cars and
the bikes and the buses suicide, like a lot of commotion and chaos.
It’s not a very,
Relaxing enjoyable, pleasurable experience. but I keep my car despite all that.
because I love getting out of the city and I love driving outside the city that
I’m definitely, grateful for my car so that I could go on hikes and I could go
upstate and I could go out of town,
TARANJIT: Oh, I can imagine. I
feel like the city, it just makes more sense to take public transportation than
being frustrated in your own car and not getting anywhere that fast. It
sounds like you prefer to drive when given the option. So have you ever been in
a car as a passenger and you felt like it was a bad idea?
NESREEN: Oh my God. So many times, so many times, I, I don’t like being
the passenger. I like being in control. I like having that, that, cause it just
makes me feel more secure. I know that even though I can be an aggressive
driver, I know that I’m a really good driver. I have lots of experience with
driving.
[00:13:00] I don’t
always trust that other people have that same experience or, appreciation of
driving. I mean, my, my such an awful stereotype, but my mother, for
instance, was not a great driver. And, as soon as I could start driving her,
instead of vice versa, I’ve made sure to, but there was actually a time where,
so there’s a couple of different stories I could tell, but one of the main ones
that comes up, was when I was traveling with my dad overseas, We were, we were
passengers.
We had a driver,
but apparently this driver had been working all night the night before. And so
we were, we were traveling, about two, two and a half hour distance and he kept
falling asleep at the wheel. I mean, luckily there wasn’t a lot of traffic, but
it was like a highway and he was driving and then he kept hitting those rumble
strips to wake himself up, or, To be woken up.
And, I just remember
looking at my dad. I mean, like we’re gonna die today. he pulled over at one
point and the splashing water on his face and he had the windows open at some
point. And I just remember thinking this is just awful idea. what are we
supposed to do? And my dad was like, well, what are we supposed to do?
[00:14:00] he he’ll get
us there. And I was, I, I can’t, I don’t, I don’t know about idea. and, and
luckily, you know, of we got there and everything was fine, but I just remember
thinking this is. This is the end. This is it. this car is going to flip over
because this guy can’t stay awake.
so I I’ve had a lot of
experiences where I thought that I should be driving instead of the person
BHAVNEET: That’s
crazy. Oh my God. I feel like at one point it’d be like, all right, move over.
Let me drive. Just, just let me drive.
NESREEN: I really wanted to and actually so I don’t know if you guys have
ever been to Egypt or not, but, driving in Cairo is crazy town. It’s New York,
but 10 times worse. I was, I was visiting family here, 2004, I think, or 2005.
And, I remember being in the car with my cousin and a couple of my family
members and she was taking us.
I don’t remember where,
but she was taking us somewhere. She got on the highway and then she realized,
after a little bit of driving, she realized that she had missed her exit. So
she like just stopped, pulled over. She put on her hazard lights, and then like
[00:15:00] reversed on the highway. To go to, to catch the exit.
And I remember thinking
I’m going to die now, too. Like, it was just, I was what is happening? And it
was so scary and cars are whizzing past us. Like nothing is happening. And I
just remember looking at her and I was like, what are you doing? What are you
doing? And she’s like, no, no, no, don’t worry.
It’s normal here. And
apparently it’s actually normal. It is, it is very common. I saw a lot of other
cars doing it and I, I just couldn’t believe it. So there is chaos in so many
different places,
TARANJIT: Does that cause a lot
of accidents or do people just like, Oh, okay. There’s another person backing
up. I can just go.
NESREEN: Yeah, honestly I think that it’s just normal for people here. I
think they’re just used to it. And so they’re there. not really worrying about
it too much. So I don’t think it causes too many accidents, but, just, coming
from the States and especially in New York where everything is very
controlled and rigid in terms of driving, I really couldn’t believe it.
I was like what we are
and we’re backing up. it’s not just Oh, a couple feet. It’s no, we’re like,
she’s driving in reverse to get us to this exit.
TARANJIT: Wow, [00:16:00] that
actually reminds me of a story similar here. I didn’t expect that to happen
here in the U. S. But a, classmate of mine in driver’s ed was telling me. A
story of how her mom missed an exit and she did the exact same thing. She just
backed up down the highway to take the exit. I did not think that was a thing
here, but I guess it is.
NESREEN: Wow. That’s the first
I’ve heard of that, but yeah. So it’s not, it’s not just in Cairo. It happens
everywhere.
BHAVNEET: It’s
just accepted in Cairo.
NESREEN: Exactly. It’s the norm there.
BHAVNEET: But
yeah, I haven’t been to Cairo, but I can imagine it’s probably something like
other, other countries, like East Asian countries or like India and all the
crazy chaos that is driving.
NESREEN: Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good point.
BHAVNEET: So in
Egypt, is it also you drive where you want on the road or is it more of people
will stay on their quote unquote side of the road?
NESREEN: So from what [00:17:00] I, from my experience, if you’re driving
for the most part, if you’re driving, on the main roads on the highway, these
expressways, you’re gonna stay on your side of the road, you might reverse, you
might, you know, you might randomly move, from all the way on the left to all
the way on the right to like, make your exit, that’s all like normal, but when
you get into the, neighborhoods, A lot of times people will just cross over
onto the other side of the road to drive because they don’t like the side or
there’s too much traffic or, the road has too many potholes or it’s not
paved, you know, whatever it is.
they just are like,
yeah, whatever. And they just start going in to the other lanes or the other
side of the road to oncoming traffic and. People are everywhere. So they’re
like constantly walking everywhere. it’s really common to get hit. And, hit and
runs are really common, unfortunately.
so you have to be
really careful as a pedestrian, I’ve seen so many people that will just
crawl, right up. the, the driver will go right up against the pedestrian. Who’s
walking in the street and give him a little friendly honk, and here they go.
And like, are they like veer off to the sides of the car can move it feels even
more chaotic than [00:18:00] New York in a lot of ways.
And, and it’s hard to
believe that this is the norm.
TARANJIT: Do you feel safe in
that situation?
NESREEN: Well, sometimes,
sometimes for the most part again, because it’s so common here, people just
deal with it. They just, and the streets are so narrow. That they, they, you
know, you have to like pull over so somebody else can go through. So in a lot
of ways, everything I’m describing is just really common.
BHAVNEET: Going
back to the type of driver that you are. You kind of hinted at this a little
bit earlier, but how would you describe your driving style? And would you say
that your family and friends would describe your driving in the same way?
NESREEN: I think I’m assertive.
so I don’t, I tend to not try to Be aggressive and get in front of everybody
and all that kind of stuff. But also like, so, couple of months ago when I was
driving in New York, I saw this guy wanting to get off on the shoulder and like
just bypass all the traffic.
And I was that person
in the car who basically got in his way. So he [00:19:00] couldn’t, because
listen, we all had to sit in traffic, unless you have a serious emergency,
What, where are you going? and, so I think that I’ve assertive and I try not to
be too much, or too aggressive or too much of a jerk when I’m driving.
But also, I try to make
it comfortable for my passengers if and when their passengers. and so I think
my friends and family, I think they would agree. I w depending on who it is,
like my sister who lives in Virginia would definitely say I’m an aggressive
driver. but I think other new Yorkers would probably agree with me in how I
drive or how I’m describing myself.
TARANJIT: That’s hilarious that
you stopped this guy from trying to go ahead because Hey, we’re all here.
we all should have a fair, stay in your spot where you are. Everyone take your
turn. not weaving in and out. We’re all sitting in the traffic. That’s
hilarious.
NESREEN: I know it’s so bad. I don’t, I don’t always do that. to be honest,
but for whatever reason that day, I was like, no, where are you going? Who are
you? come on now. We’re all, we’re all in this together. kind, kinda attitude.
TARANJIT: So it sounds like the
New York [00:20:00] driving has influenced your driving a little bit. And I
know like in the cities, honking is a big part of the driving culture. Would
you say you are a honker or do you tend to honk a lot?
NESREEN: No, I don’t like it, especially when I’m a pedestrian and
there’s a lot of honking. I really don’t like it. So I try to reserve my. My
honking for when there’s a situation when I need to get someone’s attention or
when there’s an emergency, something like that. I’ll give a little like
friendly toot toot, you know, when the, when it’s time to go, if somebody’s
just sitting at the light very clearly not moving.
but otherwise I
really try to avoid it unless I need it.
BHAVNEET: Well,
that’s good to hear. Since you are someone, I guess occasionally you are
like policing and making sure nobody is cutting in front of others. What
would you say is your biggest driving pet peeve?
NESREEN: My God. There’s so
many. Do I have to choose this one? Driving in the left lane when you’re
driving really slowly, cutting in front of people. Like I was describing with
that [00:21:00] guy, not like, okay, biggest pet peeve is somebody who’s
on their phone or really checked out, not paying attention.
Cause that’s just
dangerous. That’s just unfair to the people around you. especially when in New
York it’s illegal and I still Still see people doing it and I’m like, what is,
stop it, stop it. So I think that would be my biggest pet peeve.
BHAVNEET: Oh, I
agree with that. Even here, it’s illegal to be like texting and driving, but
people will even be doing all sorts of crazy things that you wouldn’t even
imagine. They can’t make a law against all this stuff because they probably
would never think that people would be doing these things, but they are.
NESREEN: Yeah, it’s really, I mean, it’s, it’s unacceptable as far as I’m
concerned. And I, I say that with all seriousness, I don’t mean to sound smug,
but it’s just, it feels really. foolish in so many ways and, driving is a
dangerous activity, and if you’re not fully present and if you’re not really
paying attention, so many things could go wrong so quickly and to have a device
in your hand, and to be looking at that instead of the road really [00:22:00]
is irresponsible and selfish.
TARANJIT: So is I’m going to
guess that this is a primary offence, but is texting and driving a primary
offense in New York because I know some States it’s a secondary offense. So a
police officer would have to pull you over for something else before giving you
a ticket for using your phone.
NESREEN: Oh, it’s a hundred percent a primary offence. If they see a
phone in your hand, you’re going to get a ticket. You don’t even have to be
using it, Or you could be using it for navigation purposes. If you’re holding
it, you’re going to get a ticket.
TARANJIT: Yeah, I think that’s the way it should be, but I don’t
know. Maybe some States don’t have that high of a problem with it or that high
of accidents from it. That is still secondary offense. But I know here in
Maryland, it used to be secondary offense and then real quickly it turned into
a primary offense.
NESREEN: That’s great. I’m glad to hear that. Yeah, I think I’m sure
there are some States, like in the, in the middle part of the country, or like
Southwest, where, like you said, it’s not as populated, they don’t have as many
accidents. Maybe that is why, but, I [00:23:00] think it should just be across
the board with every state, hopefully someday we’ll get there.
TARANJIT: Yes, hopefully. So
staying on this topic of annoying drivers, have you ever experienced road rage,
whether you had it yourself or someone had it towards you?
NESREEN: Yeah, actually, Okay. So this was at least 4-5 years ago,
but I remember driving, in New York sitting in traffic, on a bridge. we really
couldn’t go anywhere. And it was backed back and I can’t remember exactly what
happened, but I think there was somebody, coming from behind,
trying to get in front of me or something like that.
I can’t remember
exactly what happened, but I just remember the guy getting out of the car
and screaming obscenities at me and getting out of the car. cause his car was
in front of me and screaming. I won’t even repeat what he said. but just these
expletives and I was just Oh my God.
Oh my God. Oh my God. I
really thought that I was in a, like, he was going to throw something or come
up and hit my car. Attack me. I was just like, Oh my God. I don’t know.
and I, I, I just, yeah, I think that was one example, that I [00:24:00]
personally experienced where I was like, this is an extreme example of road
rage is this extreme case of road rage because, what I had done or
whatever, happened, I remember thinking it did not warrant that big of a
response.
TARANJIT: Yeah. Sometimes I
wonder, like, is it, was it truly what you did or are they also going through a
lot of other things? And then they’re like, well, that was the last straw and
just, this is where I’m going to take my anger out on.
NESREEN: I have to think it’s the latter. I have to think that for the
most part, this is a very stressed out, very unhappy, very under pressure type
of person. and then this is the one thing that’s gonna set them off, this is,
one of the things, one of the things that builds up to this, extreme
behavior, but there are definitely some people that are just in general,
they have a short temper, right.
Or a short fuse. So it
could be, a combination.
TARANJIT: Yeah. I feel like in
that moment I would probably lock my car doors and be like, don’t come here.
NESREEN: A hundred percent. Oh my gosh. And I remember thinking, do I, am
I in trouble? Like, [00:25:00] should I am I in danger? Should I record
this? it was, it was crazy.
BHAVNEET: So now
that we kind of know the type of driver. You are, let’s go back to your driving
firsts. How would you describe your first time driving experience and who was
it with?
NESREEN: So I probably shouldn’t
share that, but, I started driving before I should have before I was allowed.
So my sister, I have two older sisters, one of them, my oldest sister would
take me driving on the back roads of our hometown of Charlottesville, Virginia.
Before I had my learner’s permit before I had anything.
And, I just remember
falling in love with driving. I was terrified in the beginning. I was
definitely terrified, and I think the very first time she just took me around
the parking lot. I don’t, I don’t think it was anything, I know that it wasn’t
anything serious or, dangerous. It was just around a parking lot, but I
remember that feeling of just getting in the car and pushing on the gas and be
like, well, I have to stop. Cause I was, I was like, we’re moving out. The
reason we’re moving. it was a lot of stop and [00:26:00] start until I
can get a little bit, more comfortable.
but yeah, that
adrenaline rush of not knowing how to function or how to operate this vehicle
and just the sheer, Power of it, I guess, this is a massive thing that I’m,
that I’m doing that I’m operating at. I don’t know how to do it yet.
TARANJIT: Yeah. The first time
getting behind the wheel is both exciting and scary at the time same time,
especially if something goes wrong, you’re like, Oh, what do I do?
NESREEN: Yeah, I actually, so I had a friend in high school who let me
drive his VW bug and we were driving, in this, not quite unpaved area,
but sort of, and I remember hitting, hitting something with his, I, or
like I scraped the back of his, car, or the other side of his car in the back,
I should say.
And, kind of dinged
something and the, Oh, what’s it called that like round part where the, where
the tire is. I don’t remember what it’s called, but that round part over the
tire, there was this, lining this silver metal that, came off. And, I
like messed [00:27:00] up his car. I was like my first time driving or one of
my first time driving.
And he was letting me
drive his car to teach me. And I like messed up his car. almost instantly. I
felt so bad. I was just like, Oh my God, I feel like the worst driver and the
worst friend for doing that to my friend, Robbie.
TARANJIT: Was he mad or was he
like it’s okay.
NESREEN: He was so nice about it. I mean, he, he, I don’t think that he
was thrilled by any stretch, but he never, he never called me on it. He, he was
really kind about it. He was like, don’t worry, don’t worry. It’s totally fine.
This is fixable. I can just get this fixed real quick, whatever. So he was
actually really sweet about it.
I don’t, I don’t think
that I now. Yeah. Because I love my car so much. If somebody did some, anything
to my car, I would be very upset. he was much more compassionate than I think I
would be.
TARANJIT: Well, that’s great to
hear that he was understanding and it didn’t make the situation. Worse for you,
because I feel like if you got, I guess if he did get mad, would it have
deterred you or made you not want to like get back and start driving again
right away?
NESREEN: [00:28:00] I I do you think it would have had, an a
negative effect? Yeah, I mean, I, I don’t know that anything would have kept me
from driving because from when I was very young, I always sort of romanticized
it and loved it and wanted to drive. but I definitely think I would have been a
lot more, hesitant to get back on, on the road.
so quickly.
TARANJIT: So how would you
describe the actual driving test experience?
NESREEN: Oh my God. I was so nervous. I was so nervous. I actually failed
the driving, the, written test the first time. So I had to retake it. I was so
upset cause I so wanted my learner’s permit or my license. And I remember
my mom was like, don’t worry, don’t worry. You know, you’ll do it. You’ll do it
next time.
She was trying to encourage
me. And I was like, no. but then to get in the car with the driving instructor
or, um, person for the DMV, I just was so nervous. they were, they
actually made us parallel park, which is. not very common in, in
Charlottesville, Virginia.
There’s not a lot of
places where you have to parallel park. And I couldn’t for the [00:29:00] life
of me parallel park, it was so bad at it. And finally, the driver was, the
instructor was like, stop, stop. Just, just stop. Like, he was like, it was like
seven, eight different tries. And he was like, all right, you’re you’re not
gonna, I’m not gonna let you pass.
So I actually had to go
back and do the driving. Part of it again, after I practiced parallel parking
and I got it. but yeah, it was, it was really nerve wracking and frustrating.
Cause I was like, why do I need to know this? Why do I need to know that?
BHAVNEET: So do
you think that. The parallel parking is an important thing that should be on
the test or that it should be on all tests?
NESREEN: I dunno. I mean, in New York you have to a parallel park and you
better do it well, or else you’re going to ding up your car and other people’s.
So. Definitely. I mean, I think where it makes sense, if you’re in larger
cities or larger areas where, you need to parallel park a lot, it should be, it
should be mandatory.
Absolutely. I think if
you’re in more rural areas where you don’t parallel park very much, it would be
nice to have that taught, but do you need it on the test? Do you need it to be able
to [00:30:00] drive? I don’t know.
TARANJIT: Yeah. I feel like
there’s a lot of mixed opinions about that because I don’t think a lot of tests
actually require parallel parking anymore. So. I don’t know, even if in, in
Maryland, I know there’s a lot of cities here that you would have to parallel
park, but they took it off the test. So I don’t know if it’s like dependent on
if there’s a city major city in the area or, uh, we don’t want to do it anymore.
NESREEN: Wow. That I had not heard about. I’m really surprised to hear
that like that even in places where you are, or it is necessary to parallel
park, you don’t have to. Wow. Yeah. I’m, I’m surprised to hear that.
TARANJIT: So talking about, the future of driving with the
possibility of driverless cars being an option. What are your thoughts on this?
And would you be comfortable getting in this kind of car.
NESREEN: Oh gosh. I am
going to answer your second question first. I absolutely want no part of that
for myself. I [00:31:00] want to drive. I love driving. I like the control. I
want to know where I’m going. I, yeah, I don’t see any reason for me to
participate in driverless cars. it’s just, it doesn’t feel comfortable.
It doesn’t feel like
something I’d be interested in. should it happen? Should it be available?
I mean, there are a lot of bad drivers out there. let’s be honest. There are a
lot of people that don’t really drive well, that don’t feel comfortable behind
the wheel. I know plenty of people like that, with driverless cars, the, a better
option for them, maybe. Maybe that would make things more safe and make things
less stressful for them. And they could utilize their cars, more, more often as
a result. but I don’t, I don’t see myself really enjoying the driverless car.
BHAVNEET: I completely agree. I just, I feel like I love driving so much,
like you said, that I don’t think I would want to have a driverless car,
because then it’s you no longer have that thrill of being behind the wheel. And
it’s like, I’m just [00:32:00] sitting here passively doing nothing.
NESREEN: Yeah. I mean, certainly I will say this, I remember the first
time. So when I moved to San Francisco, I I’ve moved there. Alone and
like, didn’t know a lot of people, I was just I don’t want to live in New York.
I’m going to go over to San Francisco. And, I, it took a while to like, get to
know people, make friends build up a community.
And I do remember the
first time that somebody else was driving my car and he drove us over
the, Oh, my God. He drove us over the bridge. What bridge? The famous San
Francisco Bridge. What’s it called? I’m telling you blanking.
TARANJIT: Golden gate.
NESREEN: We, yeah, the golden gate bridge I can’t believe that
happened. He was driving someone with the golden gate bridge and I
remember the sunroof was open and I remember this was the first time that I
could really take in the view of the golden gate bridge and the, Water and the
pedestrians and the car, I was just like, wow. And I just remember thinking
this is glorious. Why haven’t I let people drive me around before, why haven’t
I had more people drive me over this [00:33:00] bridge? So I do think there’s
probably something nice about, driverless cars and that you could really enjoy
your surroundings.
but again, I want that
experience. of being the passenger, but not all the time. I, I definitely
don’t, don’t want to like give up my ability or my, my car, my ability to drive
this car and have this car via car that doesn’t allow for a human driver that I
want no part of.
But, there is something
nice about being driven every now and again.
BHAVNEET: When
you mentioned just sitting there and then being able to see the golden gate
bridge, my first thought was, wow, you actually were able to see it because
it’s usually very foggy. And even when, when we went, we’re like staying, they
were like, where’s the bridge it’s supposed to be there.
NESREEN: That’s so true. It is so true. Yeah. No, I I’m lucky that I
lived there for a little while, so for a couple of years, so I was able to see
it frequently, but you’re right. There’s plenty of times where I was driving
and I was like, there’s no bridge. What, what [00:34:00] view? you can’t even
see the water from here.
It’s and especially
now, I know there’s a lot going on with, the weather over there and the way
things look and, and, so sending them a lot of love. but it’s true. The fog is
its own weather system there.
BHAVNEET: Bonus question time. Are you ready?
NESREEN: Oh my gosh. I’m ready
BHAVNEET: If you can make one new driving law. What would it be?
NESREEN: Oh my gosh. That’s a really good question.
Can I say that it
have like if, if you’re driving in the left and you’re driving really slow,
then, then that’s a reason for cops to pull you over. Cause like, again, that’s
a really big pet peeve of mine and I think it’s dangerous and I think it’s
foolish and I don’t understand why people would drive in the left lane if
they’re, if they’re not interested in driving, quickly at all.
TARANJIT: I feel like that is a
thing in someplace that I don’t, I think New Jersey has this law where like on
one of their, what is it? The. Toll road. I forget the name of it. That if you
go, you can only go in the left lane to pass. So like [00:35:00] no slow cars
are in that lane. So maybe if this law was just…
NESREEN: Oh. The turnpike?
TARANJIT: Yes, I think that’s it.
Maybe like if
this was just applied across the States, then it would make you happier.
NESREEN: Yeah, I think so.
you’re right. I didn’t think of that, and I know that it’s, it’s, common
courtesy to do that. It just doesn’t happen as often as I think it should. And
so, yeah, I think if it was across the board mandatory and a punishable offense
then, it might just make things more easy and, and, and that making, driving a
more smooth experience for everyone,
TARANJIT: I agree with that. Do you have any final thoughts or any
tips that you would like to give other drivers?
NESREEN: Whenever possible, drive cross country it’s, see, see the
Southwest, see the Northwest, drive down the coast of California, be safe, be
kind and compassionate with other people. You never know what time of day
they’re having kind of life they’re having, and buy really good tires because,
your tires are much more important than you realize.
TARANJIT: That’s a great point. I
[00:36:00] feel like tires are not really. Things people think of when going on
trips. Like I know like they’re like, Oh, let’s fill up gas and make sure we
have everything we need. And like, I don’t know if tires are the first thing
that comes to people’s minds when they’re going for a drive until something
happens.
And they’re like, Oh,
shoot.
NESREEN: I agree. A hundred
percent. I I’ve had, I couldn’t tell you how many stories about getting flat
tires and, and I buy really good tires. So it doesn’t, it doesn’t happen that
often. Like I remember having a friend who, had to drive a lot for her work.
And she was constantly getting flat tires, like at least once a month.
And I was like, what
kind of tires did you buy? You have to get better quality tires. I think
they’re really important. So yeah, that would be my tip.
TARANJIT: Yeah, that’s a great
tip. So before we let you go, we love to support each other. So, where can
listeners find you? And I know you have a business, so could you tell us a
little about that?
NESREEN: Thank you so much for asking. So I am a life and grief coach. I
work with people after a loss, a divorce or an illness occurs, and I [00:37:00]
help them work through their, their, experience and their loss, and then start
looking at what’s next and kind of, creating some big life goals and big life
adventures, And so I’ve helped people do all kinds of crazy things, move
overseas and take six months off for, Driving in a van, living in a van or
sailing around sailing around the world, taking sailing trips. So, I love, I
love doing that and I love helping people go on these grand adventures in life
so people can, visit my website harborlightcoaching.com and there there’s my
contact information and a contact me page. If anybody wants to get in touch.
BHAVNEET: Thanks
again for coming on. We had so much fun talking to you and hearing about your
crazy driving stories all across the country.
NESREEN: Thank you. This was so much fun. It was a real pleasure to talk
to you both.
(transition music)
TARANJIT:
Her hitting the hitch of a truck reminded me of our dad’s story
of accidentally rear-ending someone. Just like he lightly tapped that car, when
we were going through Hampstead. Do you remember that?
BHAVNEET:
[00:39:15] Maybe.
TARANJIT:
We were sitting at a red light and our dad is…
BHAVNEET:
Oh. He let go of the brakes.
TARANJIT:
Yeah. So our dad is, I guess notorious, I guess that’s the word
to say, but he tends to let go of the brake before it turns green in
anticipation of the green light.
BHAVNEET:
A lot of people do that.
TARANJIT:
Yeah. So we were second in line and there was a car in front of
us and he did that. He tapped the guy’s truck.
BHAVNEET:
Hey. Go.
TARANJIT:
On the rear end and the guy like put it in park and came out.
And our dad’s like, oh my God, nothing really happen. Like what is he going to
do? Right. He came out of the car came up to the window and. Well first he
checked everything and then he was like, oh it’s fine. Like nothing happened.
More damage was done to our vehicle. Nothing happened to his.
BHAVNEET:
That’s when that’s the one that bent our license plate.
TARANJIT:
Yeah. Our license plate bent.
BHAVNEET:
So it protected the van.
TARANJIT:
Yeah. But that was the only experience that I feel like I had of
[00:40:15] a rear actually no. I have had a rear-end experience except I didn’t
do it. Someone did it to me. Which, have you ever rear-ended?
BHAVNEET:
Yeah. Well, okay. So it was more of a hit-and-run.
TARANJIT:
That’s not the same.
BHAVNEET:
Uh. It’s a rear end.
TARANJIT:
That’s a hit-and-run. That’s two different things. You weren’t in
the car when you were rear-ended.
BHAVNEET:
No. I almost thought I was going to be, but I haven’t been in
the car.
TARANJIT:
I I was. I feel like I shares this story before. Maybe. But this
is another coming home from University story. And I was at a red light, the
lady behind me did the same thing that our dad didn’t she let go of the brake
by accident and she hit the back of my car and I kind of jolted like it was it
was a light tap…
BHAVNEET:
Whip lash.
TARANJIT:
It was a little bit of a push. I felt it a little bit in my neck
she hit me.
BHAVNEET:
Whiplash.
TARANJIT:
And then I just sat there and I just wasn’t sure [00:41:15] do I
just go?
BHAVNEET:
No.
TARANJIT:
Pull over? Do I get out? So I just paused for a little bit then
I was about to go cuz I’m like and there wasn’t really anything and then I was
like No And I put my car in park and I got out and I was like, okay. Well, what
do I do? Like she gets out of her car and I’m like, okay, maybe I go look at
the back of my car.
BHAVNEET:
Yeah. Good idea.
TARANJIT:
So I looked and there’s nothing like visibly there. Looked at
her car. There’s nothing visibly on her car and she comes on when she’s like,
oh my gosh. I’m so sorry and she’s like, I’ll pay for everything like anything
if their damages if you need anything fixed. I’ll pay for it. Like let’s handle
this. Like don’t report it to the insurance. And she was like do you want my
contact information and I was like at that moment I was like there’s nothing
wrong with the car. But then I’m like if I bring this home and tell this story
to our dad he’s going to be like, why didn’t you [00:42:15] get her
information? So I was like, yeah, I think I need to get your information.
BHAVNEET:
Uh. Yeah. Good idea.
TARANJIT:
So she wrote it, well she went back in her car and she got paper
and everything she wrote everything down. Then she handed me her license and
everything so I could confirm that she wrote down everything properly.
BHAVNEET:
Wow. What an upstanding citizen.
TARANJIT:
Yeah. Then she handed it to me and she’s repeated again. She’s
like if you like have to go to the shop and get anything fixed. Let me know I
will cover it like I’ll pay for it. And then that was it. We went our separate
ways.
BHAVNEET:
You actually met a nice person when you got rear-ended.
TARANJIT:
Have you ever scratched someone’s car or your own car by
accident? Cuz I know she was mentioning a story of scratching her friend’s car
when she was like driving it. Have you ever done that?
BHAVNEET:
I haven’t ever scratched anyone else’s car.
TARANJIT:
Have you scratched yours?
BHAVNEET:
But now that I think about it. I I feel like so the spot where
we park right now in our driveway [00:43:15] in the front is right against this
pole. Well it’s not a pole, but it’s like a what is that white water pipe right
that like pours water out.
TARANJIT:
The gutter pipe?
BHAVNEET:
The gutter pipe.
TARANJIT:
The white water pipe.
BHAVNEET:
The gutter pipe So that’s where always when you like when you
open the door, that’s where it is. It’s always right there and I noticed that
there’s a little like white on my door handle and I think that’s from that cuz
I used to always park their first. So there’s a little bit of white on my
handle and I’m like, darn it. It’s from that.
TARANJIT:
I didn’t notice. I didn’t know that…
BHAVNEET:
Your car is lower. I mean it would still hit it.
TARANJIT:
Yeah.
BHAVNEET:
So that happened. My poor RAV4.
TARANJIT:
But have you guys ever scratched your car? Whether it was your
parents car, your friends car or your car? Share it with us in the comments
below or chat with us in our Discord group and share your stories
there. [00:44:15] I personally feel like freak out whenever I get into any
situation or like if even if someone did damage to my car, I freak out. I’m
like, uh. What do I do?
BHAVNEET:
Yeah. Well that was Nesreen’s driving stories. If you or anyone,
you know has any crazy driving stories and would like to come on the show fill
out the interest form on our website at DriveWithUsPodcast.com.
TARANJIT:
And be sure to stay tuned until the end of this episode for a
sneak peek of next week’s episode and again, come hang out with us
on a Discord group or hang out with the other listeners. Thanks for
driving with us.
(outro music)
JEN: I don’t even know how I got there, cause it had gates. So I don’t know why the gates were open and I just need to turn around and I don’t understand what you’re saying, sir. [00:45:00] I’m not going to wait here. I’m not going to be locked in. I’m not going to wait for the cops. I don’t want any of this.
I just abort, abort.